Category: pocket full of dirty tissue

So Syed Rahman, the bar worker that murdered 24 year-old Ingrid Rivera this past August at Lil’ Kim’s birthday party, finally pleaded guilty, huh? Dang…


Ironically, my girl and I were JUST talking about how unsafe some of these so-called super clubs in the city can be for women and she mentioned this very incident. *cues the creepy horror movie instrumental music*

Honestly, this case was always unsettling to me because I’m a HUGE believer in spiritual signs and paying attention to what the universe is trying to tell you. And ultimately, had ole’ girl not finagled so hard be inside that party, her ass would still be alive. And that’s nothing but the truth.

(For those that don’t know the deets: For whatever reason homegirl got kicked out of the party. Then, the creepy bar worker with his own personal agenda helped her sneak back inside through the service entrance. At the end of the night, she supposedly threatened to tell people that he was the one who let her back inside the club- Personally, I think he prob tried to force her to have sex and she was like hell no and then threatened to tell on his ass. Either way, his psycho ass slit her throat and knocked her over the head. The End.)

Mind you, I’m not judging homegirl. ‘Cause at one point or another, we’ve all thought that if we didn’t get invited or gain access to a certain event, it was going to be the end of days. It’s just too bad, that getting her way cost this young lady her life.

Stay alert party people.

There’s nothing more frustrating than trying to lose those last five pounds. But can you imagine losing 280 pounds and STILL weighing 686 lbs??

YIKES.

Apparently, this British guy (who despite the weight loss still qualifies as the world’s heaviest man), Paul Mason lost the weight to qualify for a gastric bypass. So let’s all pray, he’ll be able to lose more weight pretty quickly…. But my God. Can you just imagine all the skin hanging off of his body when the weight is finally gone?? Can you see it, just layers like that Japanese dog breed the Shar-Pei.

DONE.

Oh but wait on it… before you start to feel bad for homeboy- I just read on some random Flickr post that dude (who is a former postman) was arrested and imprisoned for stealing mail. And while he was serving his sentence he lost mad weight. But since his release, he’s been chilling at home, living off of welfare and eats MAD junk food.

DEAD.

I spend a lot of time complaining about all the things that suck about my apartment building. You know the whole, corner boys at the door instead of a legit doorman, the neighbor’s dog using my doormat as her personal Wee Wee pad, having to play hide and seek with the hot water every other day, and the list goes on… But one thing I’ve never worried about was my super being a damn LEVEL 3 SEX OFFENDER.


So my heart goes out to all the tenants living in the Upper West side buildings owned by Stanley Katz (specifically at 144 W.73rd, 140, and 142 W.75th Streets).

‘Cause I know you pay RIDICULOUSLY more rent than I do and definitely don’t deserve to go to sleep at night knowing that a man who raped a teenager and attacked three little girls between the ages of 5 and 7 while forcing other children WATCH the abuse, holds the spare key to your apartment.

*DEAD FISH EYES*

That is all.

Wow. It never ceases to amaze me how bitterness, frustration and overall unhappiness can corrupt someone’s moral character. Like seriously, it’s not always easy being optimistic and positive. But the alternative is so damn frightening…


Case in point- Paul Shirley.

Apparently, this man was somewhat of a star basketball player at Iowa State that got drafted into the NBA for a very brief and not so noteworthy career that maxed out at 18 games and 33 points, with three different teams. And since then, has done nothing worth talking about except the occasional ESPN gig.

TRAGIC.

Clearly this is NOT how Mr. Shirley envisioned his life. And it’s seems safe to say, Mr. Shirley is probably walking around with a whole lot of pent up aggression and resentment towards any and everyone because of his own unrealized dreams.

I’m just saying…

Because this could be the ONLY reason anyone in their right mind with an OUNCE of education (and I’m seriously questioning the validity of that Iowa State degree) or basic home training could possible believe/ concoct the ignorant ass reasons that he posted on flipcollective.com for NOT donating to the victims in Haiti. Check it out the highlights:

“I haven’t donated a cent to the Haitian relief effort. And I probably will not.

I haven’t donated to the Haitian relief effort for the same reason that I don’t give money to homeless men on the street. Based on past experiences, I don’t think the guy with the sign that reads “Need You’re Help” is going to do anything constructive with the dollar I might give him. If I use history as my guide, I don’t think the people of Haiti will do much with my money either.

After the tsunami of 2004, the citizens of the world wailed and donated and volunteered for cleanup, rarely asking the important – and, I think, obvious – question: What were all those people doing there in the first place? Just as important: If they move back to a place near the ocean that had just been destroyed by a giant wave, shouldn’t our instinct be to say, “Go ahead if you want, but you’re on your own now.”?

We did the same after Hurricane Katrina. We were quick to vilify humans who were too slow to respond to the needs of victims, forgetting that the victims had built and maintained a major city below sea level in a known target zone for hurricanes. Our response: Make the same mistake again. Rebuild a doomed city, putting aside logic as we did.

And now, faced with a similar situation, it seems likely that we will do the same.”

He then continues the rant with this imaginary letter…

“Dear Haitians –

First of all, kudos on developing the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. Your commitment to human rights, infrastructure, and birth control should be applauded.

As we prepare to assist you in this difficult time, a polite request: If it’s possible, could you not re-build your island home in the image of its predecessor? Could you not resort to the creation of flimsy shanty- and shack-towns? And could some of you maybe use a condom once in a while?

Sincerely,

The Rest of the World”

DEAD.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion but at the very least, please make sure you have all the facts. It’s painfully clear that Paul Shirley has NO idea about the histories of ANY of the places that he so flippantly disregards nor has EVER a read a single world history book in his entire provincial life.

But on a more basic level, I’m just curious… who thinks like this? What kind of heartless individual could possibly witness ANY of these tragedies born out of NATURAL disasters- the tsunami, Hurricane Katrina or the Haitian earthquake- and then blame the victims? Who is your family Paul Shirley? Where does this type of disregard for human life breed? Or tell the truth, were you raised by wild ANIMALS??

I. Can. NOT.

Okay here’s the thing, when it comes to other folk’s relationships, I do my damdest not to judge. If you like it, I love it. If you love it, I adore it. I don’t know what compromises it takes for you to close your eyes and go to sleep peacefully next to that man/woman every night. And quite frankly, it’s NOT my business.

With that said; while I will never advocate or co-sign on the act of sleeping with/ dating someone who is legally married, I’d be a fool to think it doesn’t happen… Shoot, my some of the better people I know and love (heeey Dad!) have been perpetrators of this kind of selfish & thoughtless behavior. Unfortunately, it is what it is.

But by nature, humans are imperfect and bound to make mistakes. The important thing is: You live, you learn, in some cases you get divorced but above all you DISCREETLY move on.

Unfortunately, it seems that recently the concept of discretion has been lost on modern day women and men who practice of tricking. Sigh.

Exhibit A: The random ass, two-bit, former sidepiece of Charles E. Phillips — president of tech conglomerate Oracle and wait on it… a member of Obama’s Economic Recovery Advisory Board. Yeah, he’s THAT dude. (Somebody throw me in the coffin NOW, please)

Apparently after Phillips finally ended the 8.5 year long affair in a last ditch attempt to save his family and reconcile with his wife, this bish went and paid at least a quarter million for several BILLBOARD SIGNS across the COUNTRY (3 alone are in NYC. Check it out on the corner of W. 52nd and Broadway) showing pictures of two all hugged up and canoodling with statements that read: Charles & YaVuaghnie… I will love you forever. “

WOAH.

Phillip, Phillip, Phillip… oh buddy, the HATE in my heart for you. 8.5 years? You done stepped out on your wife & kids for EIGHT & A HALF years with a triflin’ chick crazy enough to plaster BILLBOARDS around the NATION?? Ultimately you are the one who’s most responsible for this madness. And you deserve EVERY sleepless night of embarrassment you endure Mr. Super Exec and Obama Advisory Board Member. You sir, are an unbelievably worthless man.

How-some-ever, instead of billboards I wish she would’ve messengered this info in a LETTER to every board member at Oracle and the Advisory board. Instead, his wife and kids must suffer this a heartbreaking public humiliation. Cause be clear, no matter what her reasons for staying in this train wreck of a situation, this woman has to wake up every day and swallow the fact that the man she married clearly didn’t love her enough to protect her and her children. And that is a bitter pill I hope that no one I care about EVER has to swallow.

And as for YaVaunie (and every other adultress reading this):
Hello??? YOU are the other woman. You know, as in NOT THE WIFE. Stay your no self-esteem having/ trashy-behind in ya lane! I don’t care how many times he says he loves you, you are not special. And no ho, they DON’T LEAVE their real families. So, stop trying to drag his entire everybody down in the crazy!

Plastering 3-foot tall billboards is not going to change ANYTHING. You WILLINGLY wasted 8.5 years of your life on someone not worth the phlem on the sole of your shoe. That was YOUR FAULT! Further embarrassing yourself buy putting up these signs and a website dedicted to the relationship is TRAGIC and PATHETIC.

And if it was MY damn husband? The Lord knows I’m trying to be a better person but… After I leave him scarred, penniless, and living in fear for his life under a ROCK somewhere, please believe I’m coming to kick your ass too!

Bet on that.

Psst! Psst! Aye yo Usher, lemme holla at you right quick?


So yeah, the last time I checked, the new millenium Great Depression was bearing down on our country. Folks who have never wanted for anything are suddenly struggling and looking for a quick and easy score and that’s to say nothing of those who started on the fringe. In light of this (pretty common) information, what in the world would make you or ANY OTHER IDIOT leave $1 million dollars of jewelry & electronics and wait on it… an additional $50K of furs inside a parked car??

And no, I don’t care that you left it in front of a busy shopping mall! Dummy.

Like seriously? According to personal friends that live in the nicer ATL-area, negroes are kicking in doors and jacking cars from driveways in the broad daylight on some real reckless 80’s type ish. And you wanna try the people with diamonds and furs? C’monSON! Even if the economic climate doesn’t affect you personally, Im’ma need you to pick up a newspaper, turn on the news and be aware of what’s happening around you.

I’ll admit, normally I find these this type of tomfoolery entertaining. But this time, I really hope this story isn’t true. ‘Cause this may sound horrible but if it is true, I hope your dumbass doesn’t get a freaking DIME from the insurance company. If you have so much surplus that it doesn’t occur to take good care of it, please don’t cry me no crocodile tears after the fact.

Word.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know today is the first work day of the new year/ decade but I gotta tell you- I’m so not for ready it. Seriously, I think my body may need another 24 hours to recover from the non-stop tomfoolery of the 2009 holiday festivities and this damn head cold that I seem to have picked up on Saturday night. Sigh.


Guess I still need to learn when to say when…

But before I go back to bed to stage a much-needed do-over, I wanted to share the news story about the ex-mayor of Lancashire in England who recently confessed to breaking into women’s homes and what? Stealing their underwear. *blank stare*

Mmm-hmm, apparently homeboy’s pantie raid lasted from January to June of last year. And at one point, it got so bad that not only were women going to the police about the number of missing garments but one woman actually went so far as to install a hidden camera in her bedroom. Can you imagine?

Uh-uh, Jesus take the wheel…

Wow, so are we really not going to have the Fox Broadcasting channel in 2010? ‘Cause from the sounds of things, Time Warner is not budging on this whole price hike situation. Can’t say I’m mad. I’m extremely tired of paying outrageous prices for cable when I don’t really enjoy half of the shows on television. And truth be told, I can’t even name a show on Fox besides 24 and Family Guy (or is that on the CW) that is worth talking about.


Times are tough, go hard.

Speaking of going hard, DAYUM Teddy! How you smacking your 18 year-old daughter upside the head with a freaking Guitar Hero guitar?? And then wait on it… your old unapologetic ass goes and tweets that “you’d do it again”? *EPIC Fail*

Be clear: I don’t have problem the first with him laying into her ass (even if she is 18 years-old). The way my sister and I were raised, if you chose to live at home after graduating from high school, you could and would catch a bad one if and whenever you popped off at the mouth.

Like Elsa told me, “Don’t like it? Think you too grown for the beat down? Then by all means, move the hell out.”

And take my word for it- she was NOT playing. I caught my last bad one at 21 when I came home from school for Xmas break. Yeah, you read that correctly, 2-1. And I ain’t never, ever forget that ‘ish either! Sigh. God bless my Panamanian mother’s heart…

So no, my issue is not with the whooping. It’s with him using the guitar. I’m just saying… Were there no leather belts, extension cords, wooden spoons, plastic spatulas within in arms reach? Oh and please don’t sleep on how much an unexpected pop-pop to the mouth (hard enough to stun but not enough to bloody) can do for a smart mouth or a bad attitude. Mmm-hmm…

Hmm, so I finally got around to watching this infamous (and seriously redundant) Dateline segment on ‘The Plight of Single Black Women’. Umm…. Yawn. Clearly, Dateline either ran out of white girls that slept with Tiger Woods or just needed a quick bump in their ratings.

Like seriously? We’re going into a new DECADE and we’re STILL talking the same ‘ole ‘last good black man standing’ bullshit? Yeah, no thank you. I am so tired of hearing how hard it is to find a decent Black man. Note to the masses: having a degree, well-paying job, nice apartment and fly car does not make you a decent human being.

Here’s an idea: Instead of regurgitating the same doomsday dating info, why not produce a segment on all the new and young married females (African American and White) who are ABSOLUTELY miserable. Yeah, I’m talking about the countless women who regret the day they rushed down the aisle because it seemed like ‘the right thing to do.’ And now, the poor things are facing an embarrassing/ expensive divorce or worse, wasting the best years of their lives in an unhappy situation.

Quietly, I’m sure we all know just as many single ladies on the prowl as married ones who in retrospect, if given the choice, WOULD NOT choose to be with the same man they married.
*dead fish eyes*
Cause not to be funny or seem extra callous about the situation, but at the end of the day the women that I associate with and consider peers would much rather be alone and feel lonely- than be in a relationship and still feel lonely.

Let the choir sing…

What is it about the last 4 days of the year that consistently sends me into a tizzy? It’s like, I woke up this morning and remembered a whole list of crap I SWORE I was going to get down before the end of 2009. And true to form, I have decided to make it ALL happen in the next 96 hours… or at least try really, really hard.


I exhaust myself.

Speaking of exhaustion, (as I’ve stated many times in the past) works a nerves more than that awful Gosselin clan. Mmm-hmm, Jon, Kate and yes, all eight of their funny looking kids- no offense.

Just when I thought we might make it out of 2009 without any more self-created drama from TLC’s former get-along-gang, here Jon goes- back in the freakin’ headlines. This time because his NYC apartment was allegedly ransacked from top to bottom by his ex-girlfriend Hailey Glassman. Um, really? Who cares? People’s apartments get broken into ALL the time. Doesn’t that fool have insurance?

And not for nothing, what exactly did he expect to happen when he put her out? Isn’t this the same chick that started out as a journalist but somewhere along the line tossed all her integrity to the side to get famous by screwing Jon?


Uh-huh. *blank stare with three SLOOOOOOOOW blinks*

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