Mitzi Moments

Category: Mitzi- all day every day

makes me wanna listen to a love song…

By on November 2, 2009 in Mitzi- all day every day

Not to be all mushy on a Monday morning but I so HEART the Obamas.


Not only because they are the most dynamic and open-minded presidential couple we’ve had in the White House, like ever. No, simply because they’re so willing to be honest about what being part of such a dynamic union requires:

“If my ups and downs, our ups and downs in our marriage can help young couples sort of realize that good marriages take work. . . .” The image of a flawless relationship is “the last thing that we want to project. It’s unfair to the institution of marriage, and it’s unfair for young people who are trying to build something, to project this perfection that doesn’t exist.” -Michelle Obama

I just finished reading ‘The Obama’s Marriage’ this week’s NYT Magazine’s 10- page cover story on the President and the First Lady. Long? Um, hell yeah. But oh-so so inspirational for those of us still looking for our own version of happily ever after.

Onward my friends.

in a funk…

By on October 29, 2009 in Mitzi- all day every day, pocket full of dirty tissue, work it white girl

To be quite honest, thanks to last night’s piss poor performance of my beloved Yankees there’s nothing I particularly feel like writing about today… 

 
I mean, aside from the SC state attorney who was picked up by the po-po for trying to get it in with a stripper in a graveyard.  Uh-huh, you read that correctly that 66-year-old fool had the Viagra and sex toys- just in case and was trying to get it poppin’ in the place where dead bodies go to decompose on his LUNCH BREAK. Sigh. *FAIL*

Oh yeah, I guess there is the aspiring 19 year-old singer from Canada that was mauled by two wolves while hiking alone on some nature trail… Mmm-hmm, crazy. I feel horribly for her and her family because being torn apart limb by limb is no way for anyone to spend their last minutes alive. But real talk?  WTF was she doing hiking in the woods by herself without a can of mace, a machete or some kinda gun?  *EPIC FAIL*

But on an upnote, that random white woman from Philly who got arrested for soliciting an undercover cop in exchange for two tix to the World Series actually wound up being given a pair to Sunday’s game from her local radio station and a car dealership.  *NICE*  

So see kids, sometimes, it’s worth the court summons.

no mas…

By on October 13, 2009 in it ain't easy, Mitzi- all day every day

See now, I’ve been trying my best to be a better person and not talk ish about celebs b/c I understand that they are people with feelings just like the everyone else…  But dammit, I swear ‘fore God,  Christina Milian and The Dream are gonna take me back to the dark side.


What in the paying-the paparazzi-to-pay-attention-hell is up with these two?  

I swear, these knuckleheads are like the 2009 version of Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey during their MTV reality show heyday. They’ll show up for the opening of a damn tuna can. And is it just me or does the constant whoring for the paparazzi seems even worse now that Christina is knocked up? Sigh. It’s exhausting. 

Oh and Christina? Not for nothing, can you please inform ya man that those extra, extra sm-medium jackets aren’t doing a squat to hide the jiggly man-boobs. I’m not mad at you for appreciating the comforts of all his soft and squishy folds of his sympathy weight gain.  Howsomever, I’d rather not be a witness.  At. All.

Here’s a thought: why don’t you go sit down and give both of your swollen ankles a rest?? I’m just saying.

extra pickles and ketchup please…

By on October 6, 2009 in it ain't easy, Mitzi- all day every day, tapped out

Oh God, so yesterday morning I read the most disturbing article about the ridiculous amounts of e.coli that go undetected in beef processing despite all the new safety precautions. In fact, this one woman who was a dance instructor literally wound up in a coma and became freaking paralyzed after eating a tainted pre-packaged burger.  Can you imagine?  


I have to tell you, reading that story was more depressing than watching the women interviewed in Chris Rock’s new hilarious flick, Good Hair openly admit that given a choice: they’d spend $1K on their weave before they’d pay rent/ mortgage. Um-hmm… Mind you, I already knew how folks get down about their hair- hell hath no fury like a bald-headed black woman- but still… 

Granted, this isn’t the first time that I’ve been warned about the dangers of beef.  But at the end of a shitty day, nothing says love like a couple of my super-duper homemade tacos. But now, thanks to the chick in the wheelchair, I’m gonna have to rethink all of that. Sigh.

Don’t you hate it when you gotta do better just cause you know better?

folks got real problems…

By on September 24, 2009 in Mitzi- all day every day, pocket full of dirty tissue, too old for the road

Hmmm, am I the only person that doesn’t feel bad for Plaxico Burress? And mind you, I mean to say I’m not feeling even a second worth of remorse for the guy. 


Think about it.

Not only was Plaxico stoopid enough to carry a dangerous firearm into a nightclub… This numskull tucks the piece into the waistband of his pants??  Like he’s the outlaw in some sort of gangsta flick?  Are you serious right now?  And then you got the nerve to be jumping around the Latin Quarter, popping bottles? Aye dos mio…

Real talk? Plaxico put everyone that went out that night to have a good time in mortal danger because he “didn’t feel safe.”  Well shit, then stay your scary ass at home.  But definitely don’t bring a gun- that you clearly don’t know how to operate responsibly- into a crazy environment like a packed NYC club. Ever. 

I really should be sleep…

By on September 14, 2009 in Mitzi- all day every day

So I’m watching LeBron James pub his new book, Shooting Stars on The Jon Stewart Show and for the first time, I noticed that LeBron has a seriously receding hairline.  Oh uh-uh, that’s not cute at all.  He’s waay to young for that…  Five years from now, he’s gonna look like an over grown grandpa.  Boo. Granted, not that many of us are ever going to see the top of his head cause dude is what, 6’7? But still. 


I sure hope his head doesn’t have any of those weird folds or bumps… Yikes.

the carpet leads directly to a gym…

By on September 14, 2009 in it ain't easy, Mitzi- all day every day, too old for the road, why we as a people can't get ahead


There’s nothing like the morning after a music awards show; always so much drama and confusion to discuss. 


We should probably start with Kanye’s outburst…  But honestly, there’s so little to say.  If it wasn’t before; it’s now confirmed- dude has the social skills of a freaking 5 year-old. You appreciate him the most when you only have to deal with him for short periods of time.  Anything more and he becomes exhausting and in need of a good backhand. No offense. 

And I’m curious, what did you really think about the MJ tribute???  I mean, we ALWAYS love the dancers but real talk, weren’t you hoping Janet would’ve done just a little bit more? I’m just saying. 

But then again, who had time to miss Miss Jackson with all of Lady Gaga’s constant costume changes? Mmm-hmm, Ca-RAZY.  But quietly, I LOVED every moment of it it. Oh and puh-lease don’t even front like, her performance of ‘Paparazzi’ wasn’t one of the most memorable of the entire night (um, note to Kid Cudi?  I’m gonna need you to do a little better next time. Thank you very much.). 

I must say, after that ‘Ava Maria’ foolishness at the BET Awards, I was happy ya girl Bey pulled it together with the flawless performance of  ‘Single Ladies’. No to mention, how thoughtful inviting Taylor Swift back to the stage seemed (even if it was staged). 

All in all, I wasn’t mad at the show. Nope, sure was not. Now the size of Alicia Keys’ knees?  Err-um, that’s another story. But I guess we can’t have everything, right?

sharing the free…

By on August 17, 2009 in Mitzi- all day every day, using our powers for good

There are few things in the world better than good friends and free stuff.  


So in the spirit of bringing the two together, MITZIMOMENTS will award the first reader to respond in the comment section with the name of the my neighbor’s bad ass chihuahua that I’ve mentioned/ contemplated tossing out a window several times in the past (most notably for constantly peeing on my doormat) with one GAP gift certificate good for a new pair of premium jeans and your very own eco-friendly Born to Fit tote.  

Don’t say I ain’t never do anything for ya’ll! 

making the booty smile…

By on August 17, 2009 in miracle on 169th street, Mitzi- all day every day, supermarket dreams on a bodega budget

So at the top of the month GAP finally rolled out their new line of premium women’s jeans- GAP 1969. Which for those non-fashion folks is apparently a very big deal in the clothing world because it’s the first time like, EVER that the company has changed the design pattern of the jeans… (feel free to insert blank stare with 3 blinks).  


Now truth be told, had it not been for the cute little monthly freebie situation, this info probably wouldn’t have garnered more than an “uh-huh, that’s nice” comment from the kid. But since a sample in just my size showed up at the door, I figured it couldn’t hurt to try the thing on. You know for kicks and giggles…

Well lo and behold don’t you know, the damn things actually fit!! GASP!  

Yes, as in, the skinny jeans will slide up your thighs, over the booty and cinch close without leaving that angry red ‘yes, I know better but I still want them’ mark under the belly button. Added bonus for those with height issues: the various lengths are on point; sparing us the additional$15 hem fee (shut it up in peanut gallery, pls). Can you say praise the affordable priced clothing God????

But wait on it, just to ensure that the recession wasn’t clouding my fashion sense (’cause the $69.99 price tag def makes a bitch side-eye all the $200 pairs hanging in the closet), I bribed a few of my girls with chips, chaser and a free eco-friendly Born To Fit tote to spend this Sat night testing some of the samples too. And survey says…  I’m not crazy, the Born To Fit campaign is officially a go. 

There’s more than enough spandex in the skinny and real straight style  to work for every size and shape (and please believe my crew proudly runs the 0-12 range). The weight of the jean is definitely legit (cause who doesn’t HATE thin, flimsy jean material). The various color washes are cute enough to wear to the club (LOVE the dark distressed look) or every day (you can never wrong with true indigo). And most importantly the back pockets made every one’s booty POP.  Which is all a girl ever asks for, right? 

Exactly.

glutton for bitter punishment…

By on August 12, 2009 in end of days, love be a cellulite cream, Mitzi- all day every day

So clearly, I don’t have anything better to do but make random 20 second appearances on Tiny & Toya and put myself through unnecessary changes. With that said- DRUM ROLL PLEASE- I have finally decided to give up white sugar.  Um yes, please feel free to applaud. Because those who really, really know me and this greedy sweet tooth of mine, understand how above and beyond the call of Mitzi this move really is.

  
And no, I don’t have a good reason at all.  I think I just want to try something new and healthy… Naw, that doesn’t even sound like me. Waaaay too wholesome. I probably just want to have something to talk about. LOL, yeah that’s more like it.

But we shall see how far I can get with this one. Cause its was already a close call when made myself a simple cup of tea this morning. Don’t you know, I damn near had to pour the entire bottle of honey into the cup for it to be sweet enough for me to drink?? And between you , me and my wallet, honey is too damn expensive to be running through bottles like that.  Mmm-hmmm.

So we shall see, cause Lord knows, Mama got a speeding ticket to pay for…

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