Okay in retrospect, today might not be as bad as I wanted to believe before my mandatory time out. Cause when I finally woke up (see earlier post), I remembered my stroke of good luck this morning- I actually won a battle in the never ending NYC alternate side parking wars!!!
See what had happened, was…
Trying to be be slick. I decided to sleep in an extra 15 minutes and combine walking the dog with moving the car this morning. But when I got to the one block in my neighborhood with a double park free zone, the only spot left was in front of a fire hydrant. Mind you, that would’ve been fine if I stayed my behind in the car for the next hour. But there was no way I was sitting in my tiny car with Drama’s breath kicking on unholy high. So, using what can only be described as hood logic, I decided that since my apartment was only across the street, I’d just run the dog back inside and come back. Yeah, thats what 6 hours of sleep, no breakfast and 3 years in Washington Heights will have you thinking makes sense.
Anyhoo, I get to my apartment, take the leash off the dog, I look out the window and sure enough- the hardest freaking division of the NYPD is back a little metermaid cart up next to the Volvo. All I could think was, ‘ANOTHER $165 ticket? NOOOOOO!’
When I say I Jackie Joyner Kearsey’d it out my apartment, down the stairs, out the two heay double doors and across the traffic-filled street so fast you’d think I was a runaway slave. Waving and shouting like a maniac, “no, no, no, no officer, puh-lease officer!” I know the boys at the bodega must’ve thought I lost my god given senses the way I was behaving. So ugly-sigh. Then, taking it to the next level- cause you know how I do… I got all up in the poor officer’s face with all my morning breath talking about “Puh-lease, I just had to take the dog upstairs, I promise I will never do this again!!!” I know he took one took at my ghetto head scarf, still-got-sleep-in-the-corner-of-the-eye face, lime green polka dot pj pants and was thinking, ‘Lord have mercy; they don’t pay me enough for this.’ And he’s probably right. But whatever, cause he stopped writing the ticket and rolled off. Thank ya LORDY!
Omigod, I’m more anxious about voting than going on a first date! Since my eyes snapped open at 7am, all I’ve been able think about is what’s going to happen when Barack wins (its going to be a nationwide block party popping off) and what I’m going to wear to the poll (cause you know I’m taking pictures in the booth!)
