Mitzi Moments

Category: desperate cry for help

ain’t it hunting season yet…

By on November 17, 2010 in desperate cry for help, i die, it's in the genes, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, supermarket dreams on a bodega budget, why we as a people can't get ahead

Can someone PUH-lease explain to me why 16 year-old Willow Palin is on Facebook calling people that criticize her sister’s atrocious dancing skills “faggots” and “so gay?” Homophobic slurs from someone who has been raised in a home with supposed “strict Christian morals and values?”


Basic Home Training FAIL.

But wait on it… then Bristol, the baby mama with two left feet and lopsided body, co-signs on the crazy with her own 2 cents, “you’re running your mouth just to talk shit.”

Sources talking about they’re just baby bears protecting the Mama Grizzly.

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Honestly? I can’t.

I mean, what is it with the Palin crew? Or they purposely creating an image of ignorance and ass-backwards-ness? Or is it that the stupid doesn’t fall too far from the tree? Don’t either of these girls have something better to do like I don’t know… go get knocked up by a guy with a G.E.D or perhaps look at Alaska from their front porch.

Standby for Trigg & Trip to pop and start beating down kids at the daycare in the name of defending their family honor in t-minus 5, 4, 3, 2, …

send this boy a diddy t-shirt asap…

By on November 15, 2010 in desperate cry for help, keep hope alive, tapped out, too old for the road, work it white girl

We hear so many horror stories about sexting gone wrong and exes posting nude pics of women AND men on the internet that it’s impossible not to become jaded by low folks can go. But happily, here’s a small victory for the victims…


A 20 year-old man in New Zealand plead guilty to distributing indecent material for posting a naked picture of his ex-girlfriend on Facebook without her consent and was actually sentenced to JAIL time.

Granted, it was only 4 months but still….

In what he’s calling an “act of revenge” but I consider straight bitchassness, Joshua Simon Ashby posted a photo of a woman he’d been dating on and off (NOT EVEN HIS GIRLFRIEND), which featured her naked in front of a mirror on homegirl’s own Facebook page. READ: So she’d be humilated in front of ALL of her friends and family.

As if that isn’t mortifying enough, Ashby altered the security settings to make it available for viewing to everyone on FB, then altered her password so she could not remove it.

Mind you, this happened AFTER previous incidents where he’d already stolen two of her dresses and destroyed them, knocked her down and broke her cellphone and threatened to kill her via text messages.

DEAD SILENCE

I sincerely hope this chick is sues the ‘ish outta him in civil court and leaves his abusive, bullying behind naked and broke.

hopped up like the wwe main event…

By on November 11, 2010 in desperate cry for help, Mitzi- all day every day, supermarket dreams on a bodega budget, tapped out

HOLD UP!


Can we please talk about the graphic images that FDA will be requiring cigarette companies to put on all their packs and cartons as of June 22, 2011?

*GAG*

O-M-G! Have we really gone from the days of a cool ass Joe Camel cartoon to a dying cancer patient… I can’t. What in the hell has this world come through???

I mean certainly, this campaign to discourage teens from smoking will deter anyone with a remotely queasy stomach. But my God. And to be perfectly honest, looking at that picture of the crying baby makes me wanna schedule a hysterectomy, not stop smoking.

But all jokes aside, there are a lot of ways to skin a cat. And we all know, honey catches more bees than vinegar. So instead of making the kids (and every damn body that has to see it) sick to their stomach, why doesn’t the FDA take this moment to do something positive. You know, like regulate the amount of hormones that are fed to the poultry and cows.

I’m willing to bet all my birthday money that we’d have less underage kids puffing on cigarettes if the crazy growth ‘roids didn’t have them thinking (and looking like) they are so freaking grown.

*shrug*

I’m just saying.

i don’t have the eye or stomach for it…

By on October 6, 2010 in cuteness kills, desperate cry for help, i die, work it white girl

When it comes to careers, I firmly believe everyone should take the time to figure out what they love and more importantly, what they do well. And then, once you have that info- MAKE IT HAPPEN.


Cause there is nothing worse than spending a lifetime toiling away at something you don’t give 2 shits about or worse, SUCK at.

Case in point: this photo from the Chloe Spring Summer 2011 runway shoe.

Now, I am willing to bet my LAST dollar that many naturally gifted fashionistas and stylists around the world are SWOONING over this overpriced piece of leather and plastic sewn together somewhere behind God’s back in China. Mmm-hmm… I can just hear the high-pitched squeals now.

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I, on the other hand, am so distracted by the mangled toes on the model wearing said shoe, that I can’t even utter a word. Let alone imagine myself wearing it. Chunky, golden plated kitten heel and all.

*sucks back of the teeth LOUDLY*

I mean seriously, who beat this poor girl’s toes to a pulp like this? And with all the make-up artists on hand backstage, the best they could come up with was to throw some clear polish on them Fred Flinestone nails? As opposed to, I don’t know, some damn cover-up?

Uuugh.

Like I said, everything ain’t for everyone.

look at eddie’s white play cousin…

By on September 29, 2010 in desperate cry for help, made for the maury show, Mitzi- all day every day, pocket full of dirty tissue, too old for the road, why we as a people can't get ahead

Initially, I thought today’s post was going to be about Eddie Long’s 3rd accuser giving his first televised interview. Mm-hmm… *starts to hum & sway*

But then, I saw this story about Andrew Shirvell. And oh.my. GOD.

For six months, this grown ass white man in Ann Arbor, Michigan has basically waged a HATE campaign against the University of Michigan Student Body Assembly President Chris Armstrong (emphasis on student) because he’s gay.

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And when I say campaign, in addition to physically protesting outside of this poor COLLEGE STUDENT’s apartment, Shirvell created a website dedicated to “exposing” this child as, ‘a radical homosexual, racist, elitist, & liar.’ Talking about, “Armstrong has gone back on a campaign promise he made to minority students; engaging in “flagrant sexual promiscuity” with another male member of the student government; sexually seducing and influencing “a previously conservative [male] student” so much so that the student, according to Shirvell, “morphed into a proponent of the radical homosexual agenda”; hosting a gay orgy in his dorm room in October 2009; and trying to recruit incoming first-year students “to join the homosexual ‘lifestyle.”‘

But wait on it, in addition to his frequent vitriol filled updates he also posted pictures of Armstrong with obscenities written over them a la Perez Hilton and wait on it- swastika superimposed over a gay pride flag, with an arrow pointing toward Armstrong.

Um, where they do that at??

Mind you, this lunatic is an Assistant Attorney General for the State of Michigan. So it’s not like he just graduated from college last semester and that’s why he still feels vested in the on campus politics. No. He BEEN out of college! He’s grown as hell picking a fight with a damn CHILD.

And then, the video? With him looking and sounding like a whiny, hatin’ ass, repressed homosexual???

No sir. I. Will. Not.

*immediately cues Willow Smith*

the face of self-hate…

By on September 17, 2010 in desperate cry for help, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, tagging out, that sense of entitlement, why we as a people can't get ahead, work it white girl

Lord… PUH-lease give me the strength.


So Bethany Storro, the woman in Vancouver, Washington who’s heart-wrenching story about having battery acid splashed on her own face by some random, crazed black woman was all over the national news this past week, finally admitted to throwing the disfiguring liquid on her own damn self.

BLANK STARE

Now folks talking about, “It’s so sad. No one understands why she did it.”

Um, how about this? I don’t CARE why she did it. At. All. That’s between her, the parents that didn’t love her enough and the therapist that clearly forgot to call in her prescription.

What I care about is how quickly she reached for the unidentified Black assailant card. Like really? Cause there’s that many Black women running around cold ass Washington state for her to choose that ethnicity for her attacker’s description? Bish, you’re exhausting. Eff you and the racist horse you rode in on.

I’m so thankful the police didn’t simply accept her story at face value and start rounding up Black women like it was the wild, wild West. Forreal.

And real talk, if the authorities don’t press charges for obstruction of justice, I for damn sure hope they throw her deranged, low self-esteem having ass in padded room until the end of days. Cause the world is crazy enough. We don’t need not another loony tune to be out and about with the rest of us.

whats a bite between friends…

By on September 8, 2010 in desperate cry for help, it takes a village, it's not a game out there, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, supermarket dreams on a bodega budget

Lord have mercy, ya’ll voyeuristic animal lovers are gonna learn to leave these wild animals alone I tell you.

First the tiger in the little Miami wildlife park and now, the lion at the MGM resort in Vegas done attacked and bit one of its trainers in the leg. And again, the whole thing is caught on camera by nosey onlookers

Experts talking about the trainer seemed to stiffen up when the lion looked at him. And in the wild, that’s a sign of aggression. So like a teenager, was simply trying to show his dominance.

BLANK STARE.

Um, I assume that this man is a trained profession, correct? (Hence why he was getting in the glass container with these cats to begin with.) So why wouldn’t he know not to “stiffen up” if that’s all it was? Uh-uh, sorry bruh. I don’t believe you. I think this lion-just like that tiger that jumped the 14-foot fence- was just tired of the shenanigans. The End.

Although quite honestly, my favorite part is the lioness jumping on the back of the lion like, “CHILL negro! You know how fickle these damn humans are. One minute you’re their main attraction and the next, they’re euthanizing that ass!!”‘

ROFL ROFL Yes, I’m an idiot….

But so are the folks that think it’s cute to keep a grown lion and lioness in a oversized fishbowl for tourists to ogle. So there.

all kinds of sick & twisted…

By on August 16, 2010 in desperate cry for help, end of days, it's not a game out there


Err-umm yeah… so what’s really hood, Detroit?

Lemme find out that robbing and raping defenseless 90 year-old women is what’s up in The Motor City? Like, forreal? That’s how ya’ll celebrate GM posting a profitable quarter? By attacking the elderly?


BLANK STARE.

It goes without saying, there’s a special place in hell for individuals that move through the world this. You know, right along side the nut jobs that torture animals and molest children. Mmm-hmm, I’m pretty there’s room right THERE.


Oh and not for nothing, I actually disagree with her grandson. I HOPE the streets find these two goons before the police figure it out. Cause honestly, jail is too easy… Too easy.

art imitates life…

By on August 5, 2010 in desperate cry for help, it takes a village, pocket full of dirty tissue

So err-umm…. yeah.

Not for nothing, It was a lot easier to listen/ enjoy this song before I watched the video. Although I must say, it definitely reinforces why I avoid those box-cutter, manic love type relationships like a cold sore on Christmas day. I don’t care how good the make-up sex is… I don’t EVER want anyone to love me like this.

Oh and am I the only one who felt super uncomfortable watching Rih-Rih make those faces as she sung the chorus? Like, you can’t be a victim and simultaneously be down for the get down. Doesn’t work like that. It’s just my opinion (well shit, its my blog), but I’m thinking she should’ve done much more crying than mean mugging. *kanye shrug* It seems waaaay too soon for her to be leering and ice grilling at the camera in regards to anything remotely related to domestic violence ma.

Too. Soon.

congrats all around…

By on August 5, 2010 in desperate cry for help, end of days, i die, made for the maury show

There’s a lot to be happy about today:


The sun is shining.

The U.S. Court overturned California’s ridiculous same-sex marriage ban.

BP seems to have finally sealed the oil well in the Gulf.

Oh and none of us are 48 year-old, Jerry Douthett. And trust when I tell you that is this last reason is HUGE. Mmm-hmmm…

Because apparently, the Rockford, MI resident got soused off of 6 beers and several margaritas and promptly passed out. When Jerry finally woke from said drunken stupor, he discovered that the family’s pet Jack Russell Kiko, had completely gnawed off his rotten big toe.

“I woke up and the dog was laying alongside my foot, then I looked and blood was everywhere,” the drunk ass explains. “I ran to the bathroom and screamed for my wife Rosie to come. I went to the bathroom, rinsed it and it was gone.”

Let me repeat, IT WAS GONE.

*promptly throws up in mouth*

But wait on it… So although Kiko had eaten the big toe down to below the nail-line, the tests at the hospital revealed that an infection that Jerry had clearly been ignoring for some time would actually require a complete amputation of the toe. And here he go talking about, “In retrospect the incident explained a lot. It smelled, and I look back now and realize every time we’d visit someone with a dog, it would be sniffing all over my foot.”

Um, it smelled?

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