Apparently,a panda bear bit the crap out of a man who jumped in his pen to retrieve a toy that had fallen over the railing at the Beijing Zoo. Daaaammmmn… I thought panda were suppossed to be friendly, social-type creatures.
But bigger than the panda with an attitude, WHY was this man able to simply HOP a little fence?? What in the world? WHY was the fence that low?
And please don’t tell me it’s so people can get up close and personal with nature. Cause THAT is not nature. Not even on a dare. THAT is a wild animal that’s been caged up AGAINST it’s will for our amusement. What would make you think they’re remotely happy to see you? Mmm-hmmm, like ELsa used to tell me- keep playin’ if you want to.
Personally, my scary behind will take a good ole American zoo with triple layers of plexiglass and the sky-high electric fence enclosure with enough voltage to shock that ass to death if a strand of hair brushes against it any day of the damn week. If and when I want so see some “nature” I’ll go chill in Central Park and watch the shirtless white boys play football in the dead of winter. That’s enough wildlife for me, thank you very much.
Anyhoo, as usual, in the last 48 hours of the year I am running around trying to do all the things that should’ve been accomplished in the past 363 days. I’m trying to make returns, drop-offs at the Goodwill, find a new desk, clean the apartment from top to bottom, workout and of course, find the perfect dress for New Year’s Eve.
No, not cold like “you should probably wear your hat” cold. It was more like “you should probably stay your behind inside” type weather going on out there. I know for a fact that when I turned on NY1, the temp said 26 degrees. How-some-ever, you’ll be happy to know…. WE DID IT.
Me and my girls dragged our lazy behinds (well, almost all of them… There were some casualties that fell off along the way- LISA, MELISSA, TRICIA) down to the Central Reservoir and completed the first ever Race To Save Our Thighs.
I wish I could give you a blow-by-blow about the whole experience but unfortunately my brain was frozen for the majority of the time we were out there. So aside from Charreah frontin’ hard like her alarm didn’t go off when we all know you were trying to get out of it, Marissa’s gloves getting stolen at the Starbucks on 125th/ Lennox before she even arrived at the starting line, Toya spiking her water bottle with some GNC Jesus juice, Sharae trying to simultaneously jog and hide her face from the video camera (yes, Toya’s hubby-to-be, Dre a.k.a Drill Captain also braved the cold to bring the camcorder) and my ankles feeling like they were going to shatter into a million pieces with every frozen step; I can’t remember much.
No worries, as soon as we get all the scenes where I’m panting like a wildebeast and Toya’s nose is running like a leaky faucet edited out, I’ll put the video up for you all to enjoy (read: laugh at). Promise.