Okay in retrospect, today might not be as bad as I wanted to believe before my mandatory time out. Cause when I finally woke up (see earlier post), I remembered my stroke of good luck this morning- I actually won a battle in the never ending NYC alternate side parking wars!!!
See what had happened, was…
Trying to be be slick. I decided to sleep in an extra 15 minutes and combine walking the dog with moving the car this morning. But when I got to the one block in my neighborhood with a double park free zone, the only spot left was in front of a fire hydrant. Mind you, that would’ve been fine if I stayed my behind in the car for the next hour. But there was no way I was sitting in my tiny car with Drama’s breath kicking on unholy high. So, using what can only be described as hood logic, I decided that since my apartment was only across the street, I’d just run the dog back inside and come back. Yeah, thats what 6 hours of sleep, no breakfast and 3 years in Washington Heights will have you thinking makes sense.
Anyhoo, I get to my apartment, take the leash off the dog, I look out the window and sure enough- the hardest freaking division of the NYPD is back a little metermaid cart up next to the Volvo. All I could think was, ‘ANOTHER $165 ticket? NOOOOOO!’
When I say I Jackie Joyner Kearsey’d it out my apartment, down the stairs, out the two heay double doors and across the traffic-filled street so fast you’d think I was a runaway slave. Waving and shouting like a maniac, “no, no, no, no officer, puh-lease officer!” I know the boys at the bodega must’ve thought I lost my god given senses the way I was behaving. So ugly-sigh. Then, taking it to the next level- cause you know how I do… I got all up in the poor officer’s face with all my morning breath talking about “Puh-lease, I just had to take the dog upstairs, I promise I will never do this again!!!” I know he took one took at my ghetto head scarf, still-got-sleep-in-the-corner-of-the-eye face, lime green polka dot pj pants and was thinking, ‘Lord have mercy; they don’t pay me enough for this.’ And he’s probably right. But whatever, cause he stopped writing the ticket and rolled off. Thank ya LORDY!
