Author: Mitzi

So just like that, I’m back in NYC. Well, the emergency bi-coastal timeout was fun while it lasted. Time to get back on the grind.
And I want to thank my girl, she showed me every single inch of San Francisco. I took pictures on Crooked Street, saw the Painted Ladies, visited Alcatraz, kicked in on Height Ashbury, frove throught the PResidio, got a massage at a traditional Japanese spa with communal pools, dined at amazing restaurants (we LOVE 1300) and still managed to get a little bit of work done. Now that’s a good HBCU education for ya!
Gotta admit, as much as I loved the city, the weather in San Fran is the devil. One day we were chilling in the 70s and the next it was down to the high 40s. Which ironically, coming from New York isn’t really the probem. The problem is the crazy wind. Dude, I felt NAKED out there. And this is coming from a woman who has spent the majority of her life in the northeast. Humph, I don’t know how those people do it. Oh wait, yes I do. Straight wallrus skin, I tell ya.

In an effort to escape the walls of life that were steadily closing in on me, this past Saturday I hopped on the last thing smoking out of JFK and headed to San Fran for a much needed change of enviornment. Notice, I didn’t say vacation. Because thanks to the free wi-fi in every inch of this city and the damn Crackberry, I am still very much up at the crack of dawn, working my butt off just to keep the head above water but at least I’m doing it from a really cute Chinese themed hotel with sunshine streaming in from the balcony (don’t hate, join AAA).

Anyhoo yesterday, my girl Daria and I decided to rent bikes and rode across the Golden Gate Bridge. OMIGOD, sooo touristy but sooo much fun.

Mind you, I haven’t been on a bike since I was in middle school… so there were definately some heart attack inducing moments when I first started out (that whole riding in traffic thing is a little tricky). Lesson of the day, pregnant women pusing double wide baby strollers are not a biker’s best friend.

And not for nothing, my hair hates bike helmets. I mean seriously? This aint the Tour de France. Why the hell do I need that ridiculous looking half a football propped on top of my extremely large hair???? SIGH. Thankfully, a $6 baseball hat from 7-11 proved to be my saving grace from becoming a huge fashion faux pas. Envision puffs of hair sticking out on both sides of my head. Not a good look at all.

Before long (or too many near death experiences), I was peddling happily along the streets of San Fran. Which is probably more than I can say for my Daria… who despite weighing only a buck ‘o one soaking wet, apparently has absolutely no strength in her little legs. God bless her little heart, between the whipping winds and steep hills, at the end of the day that poor chile was so tapped out she fell asleep while sitting up at the dinner table. Hilarious.

I said good bye to last bit of my youthful innocence and upgraded my no camera-no-internet-no-nothing cell phone to a Crackberry. Hasta la vista ‘unable to check my email’ messages, your girl has officialy given up her right to be totally checked out.
My therapist assures me that makign this change will relieve some of the anxiety I’ve been experiencing lately everytime I find myself away from my computer for more than an hour but we shall see. Personally, I think a long vacation on a beautiful white sand beach probably could have acheived the same result but that ‘s just my opinion. Sigh.

Okay, have you ever been so tired you want to take a time out from your ENTIRE life? You know, where every inch of your body aches and you cant wishing you were somewhere warm without internet or cell phone access? That’s where I’m at. Just doing what I can to make it through. PS, isn’t Q-Tip hilarious? Cecile wants the world to know that he is NOT allowed to be on the sofa! Um Cecile, apparently Q-Tip ain’t tryin’ to hear all them rules and regulations… HA!

With that said, am I the only who in the world who could care less whether or not Beyonce and Jay-Z got married this past weekend? I’m not hating but… seriously? It’s been six years, why is anyone surprised? I am pleased that they decided to do a small private ceremony. But I got $25 on it that Instyle got an exclusive on those wedding photos. Just wait till the wedding issue drops.
Speaking of weddings and having 25 on it-I wonder if Papose and Remy Ma are going to attract that kind of media frenzy when they get hitched in the clink? Now see, that right there is a wedding that I want to see pictures from!

Okay, so my girl Deja (who happens to be the dopest midday radio host in NYC- check her out Mon- Fri on Power 105.1), invited me to come up to the station this afternoon and talk to the group of teens that she mentors about HOTLANTA. And can I tell you? I thought I knew how nonchalant teenagers can be about everything, but I had NO idea.

Okay, these kids don’t read magazines, don’t really watch TV-except for College Hill but they hate 106 & Park, think sorta Oprah is cool but Tyra is the answer and prefer Rhi-Rhi over Beyonce. Apparently their days outside of school consist of jobs/sports/ hanging out, doing homework (I hope), working on their myspace pages, watching videos on Youtube and texting to one another CONSTANTLY.

Can I tell you how out of the loop I felt? I was like, well what about CosmoGirl, Seventeen or VIBE? Nope. Do you log on to prezhilton, bossip and The YBF? Huh, what’s that? When I brought up going on the radio to publicize the book, they were like, “Yeah, do that. Oh and by the way, I listen to the radio between 6 -7am.” 6-7am???? No maam. Can’t nothing good come out of my mouth before 8am. SIGH.

But I refuse to be intimidated. Somebody is buying the Gossip Girl, the Clique and all those Meg Cobot books, got dammit. And if a pinktoe can do, so can I!!!

Now, will somebody please tell me how to contact the booker at Tyra’s show?

Well, what are you waiting for? Don’t walk, RUN to your nearest B&N or Borders or local black-owned bookstore and purchase a copy or two. IF it’s not there, ask for it and create a demand. If you see teens lurking in the area, tell them to cop it.
If you’ve already made the leap and bought a copy, puh-lease do me a favor and convince someone that I DON’T know to buy a copy. It’s only $8.99 online. Stop actin’ like you don’t know how to strong arm a ho!!!
Then after you do all of that (’cause you know black folks never when to leave well enough alone), head over to amazon.com and post a comment. I want to have a least 10 comments by the end of the week to boost are ratings back up.

Check out my co-author Denene Millner doing her HOTLANTA song and dance in author Connie Briscoe’s blog today:

http://www.conniebriscoe.com/

So when I first read about a trangender man named Thomas Beatie allegedly being five months pregnant on http://www.vibe.com/, I have to say I didn’t really believe it. Especially since they had video footage from a local news channel that debunked the claim homeboy/girl originally made in The Advocate. But now, Mama Oprah herself is about to get involved!!!
Apparently Tommy Boy is very much knocked up and planning to give birth to a little girl in July. The Big O interviewed dude’s wife (yes he’s married and no, she can’t get pregnant), the couple’s doctor, family, etc. MY GOD. Is this what it takes to get on Oprah’s couch nowadays?
PS Not for nothing, doesn’t this story kinda feel like it should be on Geraldo or Jerry Springer instead? I guess Oprah ain’t all that damn changed from the early days, huh…

Here’s the story on Rueters:

Ummmm why am I so nervous about going to the dentist late rthis afternoon that I can’t sleep? It’s 3 o’clock in the morning and the thought of my impending cleaning/ getting a much needed crown has my stomach tied up in knots as if I was seven-years old all over again! Sigh.
And when I tell you that I’ve rescheduled this appointment no less than six times over the past YEAR cause I’m frightended to death of the dentist…. this is so crazy. Am I the only person over thirty that’s still has panic attacks when the enter a dentist office?

Okay, I know I’m all late with it BUT something this good worth repeating over and over again.
So apparently, a 12-year old was arrested about a weeek ago for throwing a rock through the windsheild of Soulja Boy’s tour bus.
As if that wasn’t enough to put a small smile on your face…
When asked why he threw the rock. He replied simply-” I hate Soulja Boy.”
OMIGOD, I am peeing on myself right now!!!!! I think I love this kid. He has single-handedly restored my faith in the future of hip-hop.

So you may or may not remember this news story that broke a couple of months ago…

A Haitian woman who recently moved to West Palm Beach, FL was the victim of a home invasion. According to the news, NINE masked teenage boys, kicked in the door of the apartment where she lived with her pre-teen son. Over the course of several hours, they physically assaulted her and her son (they beat both, broke a plate over the kid’s head and then poured cleaning chemicals in his eyes), gang-raped her, forced her to perform oral sex on her own child and then tried to set them on fire.

As is the case with many recent immigrants, local kids in the ‘hood had been systematically bullying/ beating the crap outta the kid b/c of his distinct accent and out-of-style clothing. Officials believe that the home invasion was meant to further terrorize the boy and possibly rob the home. But when the mother tried to fight back and protect her child it took this horrific turn.

Mind you, this poor woman lives in the largest and most dangerous (naturally) projects in Miami. She is surrounded by people at ALL times. And NOT one person came to her aid. NOT ONE. After the fact, neighbors admit hearing her screams but cited fear of retalliation as their reason for not calling the police. WTF? I’m confused. Criminals have super sonic hearing and will know if you dial 911?

Of the nine teenagers that commited this crime only two have been apprehended. One has plead guilty.

As if this wasn’t enough to make you vomit in your mouth…

Al Sharpton and locals members of the NAACP are now rallying behind the ACCUSED boys. Yes, you read that correctly. Fat ass Al is down in Florida talking about, ‘its not right that these boys haven’t been granted bail.’ Apparently there was a similar situation involving a group of white kids that gang raped some girl and they were granted bail.
Ummmmmmm newsflash- the white kids didn’t force the girl give her own father a blowjob.

If I never hear about Al Sharpton or the NAACP again, it will be too soon. Bail? Those teenagers are ANIMALS. They should be locked under the jail. There are no words. I just don’t understand how we can hate ourselves this much.

Read it and feel free to cry. I know I did::

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