Author: Mitzi

After spending the two nights of watching the Republicans belittle Barack and insult the intelligence of everyday Americans, my nerves were beyond bad. And while I know the most powerful thing I can give the good Senator is my vote, me and the crew plunked down our litte donation and headed to our very first group Obama fundraiser. And it was… interesting.

First of all, it took me about thirty minutes and four complete outfit changes to figure out what appropriate afterwork business attire looks like- Somehow, the sweat shorts and ripped tank top that normally wear aroud the crib seemed a little too casual. Go figure. Now keep in mind, there were two donor levels- either $25 or $100. Um, what you know about the a/c only working in the $100 donor’s VIP room? By the time the speaker, Carla Harris (I’ve been told she’s a prominent investment banker hit the stage), it looked like she’d just stepped out of a sauna. The sweat was just sliding down her face as she extolled everyone in the room to vote for Obama. Huh? I thought the reason we were there was because we had already decided to vote for Obama? Shouldn’t she have been telling the suited up “I work in finance. Here’s my card” masses to go out and find that pinktoe from Iowa that they went to business school with and convince them to vote for Obama? I’m just saying. But before I could really contemplate this discrepency, D-Nice jumped on the turntables and the whole thing turned into a Thursday night party at the Latin Quarters. Lord, give me the strength… Somehow, I don’t think that getting your 2-step on is exactly part of the Obama/ Biden campagin strategy but you know how we do.
My mom insists that I get nervous too quickly and that I should have more faith. But I think that’s easy for her to say… when things go sour and Sarah Palin is snatching books on evolution out public libraries nationwide (did you know that as a Mayor, Palin banned certain books from her town’s library?)and forcing seventeen year olds to get married (did you see that poor boy’s face?), Elsa can just bounce back to Panama. I on the other hand, don’t speak a lick of Spanish or make enough moola to even move to a more gentrified part of Harlem let alone out of the country. So forgive me for feeling like I have more to lose when I hear John McCain’s crazy can’t remember how many houses he owns ass talking like the recession is something that I made up in my mind.

Gotta say, for a moment this whole Sarah “rabbit-out-the-hat” Palin situation looked like a swift kick in the neck to the Obama ticket. Afterall, she’s like an uneducated middle American dream- 80s hair clip and all. Married to the high school sweetheart with five kids, conservative, anti-abortion, just green enough to matter and gangster (gotta give homegirl props for trying to strong arm the state police into firing her ex-brother in law).

But upon closer inspection-you’ve got the eldest son who was a “bit of a hot head” that’s now enlisted in the army, the knocked-up 17 year-old daughter playing hide the tummy with the Down’s baby and my fave is the amazing, supportive, union member husband who she couldn’t wait to introduce as a world class snowmobiling champion. Only to find out dude has a DUI under his belt and a bit of a drinking problem.
Well alrighty then. Looks like it’s gonna be a bumpy ride to November.

Err-umm, why did Barack Obama just singlehandedly bring back the lightskin black man????
Not since the days Christopher Williams and Al B. Sure has anyone cared this deeply what a brother with wavy hair had to say about any damn thing. I am so excited to part of this historical moment. Obama is the truth.
Trust, I’ll be saying a prayer every day from now until election day. Cause I know every redneck in the backwoods of America who swore up and doen it could never happen is now rev’d up and about to mobilize in order to prevent this man from stepping foot into the big House.

We lost Ebony a.k.a Sweetie-Sweetie this morning. She had to hightail it back to Oakland to be ready for work on Saturday morning. Even though we’ve only spent four days together, I was really, really sad to see her go.
One of best things about going on vacation is meeting new people. No matter who you leave home with, there’s always interaction with new and interesting and yes sometimes, scary strangers.
So far in the Vineyard I’ve had the pleasure of meeting the aforementioned Ebony, Samantha (another one of the USC girls), Jeff (Sam’s husband), Big D (a 300lb Omega who’s still rockin the purple t-shirt he pledged in back in the 80s), Big Al (a former gangbanger who loves to sing karaoke) and Jason (a hardcore I-talian with an eye for the curvy brown girls). Fun times I tell ya, fun times…

Turns out the bike riding is just what the doctor ordered to strech out the crazy muscle that’s been kiling me softly for a week. Unfortunately, I’m so out of shape-or as I prefer to call it, soft and squishy- the three miles that we rode to the beach (and another three back), almost sent me to an early grave. With each push of the petal, I kept thinking dear God did I really do this EVERY freaking day when I was a kid? How in the world did I not give myself a heart attack?? Good grief. The only thing that stopped me from simply falling over into the ditch on the side of the street was the fact that I knew none of my equally unbalanced homegirls could’ve saved me. And I’d be the broken up chick on the side of the road in Edgarstown waiting for the ambulance to come get me and all my parts. Not cute.

But as usual, the actual beach was fun. Sure there was no soft white sand or seventy degrees, crystal clear aqua water but it was still a rocking, Pomegranate wine cooler, very opaque green water, seaweed filled time. At least until the jelly fish showed up. Then we scooted (yes, scooted) our jiggly behinds right up to the towels and prayed for the strength to pedal back.
Note to self: jellyfish are better viewed from behind the glass in an aquarium and I will never, ever, ever need to attend a spin class.

Yippie, we made it! After much drama and confusion, I am finally in Martha’s Vineyard for Nicole and Melissa’s weeklong 30th birthday celebration. It’s my first time in the Vineyard… so excited.

The gang of us spent the first day, lounging at the beach, drinking wine, junk food, watching Sex In The City and talking junk about different ways to say no thank you to fun times in the no-no hole.
Then the very next morning, Melissa’s knucklehead boyfriend, Julius showed up for his three day cameo. Naturally, he brought the unique energy only an overly confident, good looking, college educated, former ball playing, single Black man with no kids and a good job can bring: no he won’t stop talkin’ shit; yes, he’s knows everything and most importatnly, where’s the McDonalds? Yeah, you heard me- Where’s. The. McDonalds. Sigh.

Stay tuned for more updates of the ubsurd…

Ever feel like the Universe is trying to tell you something?
Last week Friday I pulled a major muscle called the iliopsoas. And it hurt like hell. To make matter worse, the strained muscle became inflamed and never went down. In fact, it got to the point where it got so big it was pressing on the sciatic nerve in my right leg. I know, sounds like a whole lot of personal medical information. But bear with me. Cause long story short? I was in breathtaking pain for almost three days straight. I’m talking tears in the street, looking for the elevator in the subway, can’t get out of bed in the middle of the night, calling Elsa to come get me pain.
Now we all know, there’s always a lesson in the struggle, right? And my lesson came when the doctor informed me of the cause the increased inflammation. Apparently, 75% of the severe inflammation was due to me not resting, running around the city trying to do 50 million things at once in no support having flip-flops and joggig on the pavement. The other 25%? Well that was from straight up stress. My constant worrying about what’s next, what I’m not doing, who owes me what, where I should be, etc. Simply put, my inability to relax,relate and release finally caught up with me.
And so now, that I’m back at a point where I can actually get up out of the bed and move around again with some sense of normalacy all I say is- DULY NOTED. Ain’t no fun being the cripple chick. It’ time to let go and let God… while I make like GUY and chill for a bit.
(sorry if you’re too young to understand).

So I finally went to a BBQ this past Saturday. And after all the complaining I was doing about not getting invited to one you’d think I’d be overjoyed and doing one-handed cartwheels… not so much. But you know what your mom always says- if you ain’t got nothing nice to say keep it to yourself.
So all I’m going to say is- it was really nice to catch up with my girl Christina and her friends from Howard. Hopefully, the next time I won’t have to drive to somewhere behind God’s back, be surrounded by a very whatever crowd of people and damn near break my front tooth on an overcooked lobster claw.

I’m trying my best to remain an upbeat, positive, optimistic person but what the HELL kinda weather are we having???? One minute it’s sunny then it’s freezing cold then its a freaking monsoon. It’s too much. How am I suppossed to get work done if every time the sun shines, I have to bolt outside b/c I don’t know how long it will be untill it returns? And then you wonder why I want to live somewhere that stays warm all year round. I need some stability dammit.

OMIGOD, today is Aug 15th!!! Can you believe it? The summer is about to be OVER. What the hell happened to all the cute parties and hot boys I was supossed to be meeting???? I still have a bunch of pretty party dresses hanging in my closet with tags on them. COME ON PEOPLE! Can somebody please invite me to a decent BBQ with a DJ that can really spin and some men that I haven’t met before/ slept with one of my girls/ can congugate their verbs??? GOLLY.
But bigger than my inability to find a party worth wearing my new Christian Louboutins or meet anyone new worth a double take, the end of summer also signals my least favorite time of the year- wedding season. For the record, I’m already booked for two weddings in September and expecting another invitation any moment now. Every time I go to the mailbox, I get nervous. Am I the only single person that feels like she’s going broke celebrating other people’s love???
Not that I’m not thrilled for my peeps- Anne and Andy are so adorable I predicted nuptials the first time I met him and my homie Dana? Well, I’m not saying nothing till he gets actually gets down the aisle. Not that I don’t think Tawana is the goods cause for putting up with him this long she really is… I just know my homeboy. But whatev, up to the online registries I go.

I know I’m probably going to hell for this but I gotta say, I find it so amusing when prominent pinktoes fall apart in public. I’d like to think it’s less about race and more about equality. African American are repeatedly getting put on blast for the ignorance (hello, Jesse Jackson). So a little balance is always appreciated. I know, I know… Whatever I need to say to make myself feel better. So what I’m having a moment!

So how in the world is John Edwards gonna get caught up in the made-for-Maury paternity suit when his wife is dying of cancer? As if adultry isn’t bad enough? You’re going to kick her back in while she’s dealing with chemo treatments? My. God.

And then what about good ‘ole Hayden Panetiere from NBC’s Heros? Why her dad got to slap boxing her momma’s face the other night? Apparently, when the po-po showed up, Dad told them that she “disrespected” him (yes, that’s a quote) by being all up in some other dude’s face at the party they’d just come from. Not the “disrespected” excuse!

Lord, what’s next? A leaked sex tape featuring Laura Bush and David Beckham? I swear, there’s trailer park in heaven for every last one of them.


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