No matter how you slice the cake, being cheated on sucks. And the older I become, the longer it takes me to trust. So to discover that someone I finally allowed myself to believe in, be completely unguarded around and tell Elsa about has betrayed me? Well like the 57% of you, just call me Capt. Cut-‘Em-Off.

And no, it’s not because I don’t understand how challenging it can be to meet amazing, progressive, single men nowadays. In fact, I’m the first one commenting on how much harder it’s become over the years and threatening to auction my virginity on Ebay (oh wait, it’s a little too late for that, huh?). But quietly, it’s just as hard to meet amazing women. So the way I see it, we’ll both be struggling to figure it out after the fact.

One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is if you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for everything. And since I don’t have kids to consider, I refuse to be the only one trying to hold the sinking ship together. DO NOT come crying to me to me after the fact because you feel guilty or worse, cause your side chick is getting out of pocket and is threatening to rat you out. Sloppy is not hot.

Although I’ll admit; I wasn’t always this jaded. Looking way, way back, like the 42%, I’m sure that if my ex had simply been upfront about what happened or in my case, confessed before the trifling jump-off called my phone (insert eye roll and sigh) we would’ve definitely been able to move past it. Because keeping it real? Deep down inside, I wanted to forgive him. I wanted to make like the white girls in the movies and have a happily ever after. Now, no one’s saying it would’ve been easy (cause I’m a Scorpio and you know how we do) BUT when you actually meet someone that matters, it can be hard to just let go of everything because of one unfortunate, meaningless indiscretion…

I was going to start my day by breaking on Sarah “I’m a fake Maverick” Palin and the newly leaked expense reports that prove she’s been flying her three daughters all across the country to different events and shacking up in luxury hotel rooms at the state’s expense. And wait on it… homegirl got caught trying to amend her expense reports to read as if the girls were on ‘official state business’ all after the fact. Why by-golly, are you trying to tell me is that 7 year-old Piper is not capable of conducting official Alaska state business (insert patronizing wink/ smirk combo)?? I cry for the country.

Needless to say event organizers (who’ve seen way too many lobbyists headed to the clink in the past couple of years) were hardly willing to take the fall for the dimwitted Governor. As soon as they were questioned by the press, they started dry snitching like Bodie in The Wire, talking about, “We never extended an invitation to her family… The girls just showed up.” Um, what you say?
Jesus, take the wheel because I can’t.:
http://news.aol.com/elections/article/palin-charged-alaska-for-kids-travel/220444

But then, I received word of a voter in New Mexico getting turned away from the polls because of the t-shirt she was wearing and I got a little sidetracked.

WOW, so I guess all the hundreds of annoying emails reminding me not to wear an Obama t-shirt, button, sticker, underwear, eye patch or tattoo to the voting polls this November 4th that my beloved cousin Vianet keeps forwarding to are actually true. My bad, V!

Turns out that the poor lady was in a freaking wheelchair when she got sent away!! Talking about her Obama t-shirt was distracting to other voters. Um sure, but not for nothing the liquor store next door isn’t? I’m just saying… It’s definitely getting ugly.

Check out the craziness and be prepared.
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/politics/2008/10/21/jones.nm.voter.turned.away.mxf.koat