Mitzi Moments

Author: Mitzi

everybody is not built to be a parent…

By on March 12, 2010 in end of days, it's not a game out there, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, tapped out, why we as a people can't get ahead

So for the record, I am LOVING the new Lady Gaga video featuring Beyonce. Well done! If I ever decide to swing the other way, please believe it will be with that white woman. Homegirl is on a whole other level and I for one am not mad at all.

Speaking of hot music videos… Did ya’ll hear about the craziness with director of the Fugees’s killing Me Softly video? To quote my boy Special P, YOOOO!


DEAD FISH EYES

Talking about he was trying to create a pure bloodline because the world was coming to an end and it was just going to be him and his offspring inheriting the earth.

SILENCE

But wait on it- Dude wasn’t even attempting to be discreet about the crazy like those other pervs we’ve heard about recently. Nope, there were no children locked in a Brooklyn basement. This negro was brazenly running around calling his daughters his wives in PUBLIC. Like what, say something.

Matter of fact, he even told the woman that he was living with back in 2002, the whole story. This chick was a LAWYER at a top Manhattan firm. And she didn’t say a single WORD.

“He was this successful artist who had worked with the Fugees,” explains Subhana Rahim to The Daily News. “I was shocked when he told me that they were his daughters and that he’d been sleeping with them. I didn’t try to understand something so ridiculous.”

Okay… so at the time you refused to understand but eight years later you want to tell people about it? Really??

Can we all say, Educational FAIL.

I’ll tell you what, if ANYONE I know ever starts talking about sleeping with his own offspring, boyfriend, baby father, husband or not, I’m going to the po-po IMMEDIATELY. As in not now, but RIGHT NOW while wearing nothing but my pajamas and head scarf. And I don’t give a DAMN if you were just kidding.

I do NOT play those reindeer games.

My heart goes out to these kids. I pray that not only does this animal get thrown UNDER the jail for these crimes but that ALL the women who had knowledge and were complacent about the abuse, join him there as well.

*tosses holy water like I’m popping champagne*

no respect for the short bus…

By on March 11, 2010 in desperate cry for help, end of days, tagging out, why we as a people can't get ahead

You know what? I am 30 secs away from climbing back up in my mother’s womb and staging a do-over on my entire LIFE right now. No forreal. Because I just don’t understand what kind of world we live in where wait on it… folks in Staten Island are breaking into elementary schools and stealing the PETS of AUTISTIC students!!! Are you serious right now?


I understand that times are rough. Hence, right, wrong or indifferent folks gotta do what they gotta do… So I can sorta kinda not really understand the thought process behind swiping the electronic equipment and toys. But snatching the HAMSTER? Come ON. That right there is like, kicking the cripple. Survey says: No can do.

To make matter worse, the no count heathens KNEW they were taking that damn rodent from kids with special needs. How could they not? The freaking name of the school is Eden II School for Children with Autism.

DEAD ASS SILENCE

Honestly, I don’t even know what else to say about this…

*digs a rosary from the bottom of the keepsake chest and gets to praying*

r.i.p. corey haim…

By on March 10, 2010 in end of days, moment of silence, pocket full of dirty tissue

In the spirit of full disclosure, I must confess that I am tired. For various reasons- none worth discussing or even remembering-I haven’t gotten enough sleep over the past couple of days. So my ability to stomach the crazy is dangerously low.


Needless to say, when I read the Reuters headline: ‘Seal Meat to Be on Menu at Canadian Parliament‘ something TOLD me to mind my business and not click the link… You know I clicked, right? Sigh.
The devil is a busy man.

It seems that Canada’s Conservative government has decided to demonstrate their OPPOSITION to the European Union’s ban on the imports of seal products and the annual seal hunt- which takes place from March to April and involves killing the helpless seals by shooting them or a hit over the head with a spiked club called a hakapik- by serving seal meat in the parliamentary restaurant today. The ban was imposed last July on the grounds that the hunt is inhumane. Uh, ya think?

*dead fish eyes*

Just so I’m clear- Canada is supposed to be this big ‘ole country full of humanitarians and peaceful people, correct? YET they co-sign on murdering defenseless animals by knockin’ them upside the head with a spiked club? And you not only co-sign, but you go so far as to put the meat on your lunch menu? Yeah, okay…

Sounds like the same shady grass that grows here in the US.
I’m so sure there’s a warm seat in hell for folks that do stuff that this. By all means, please feel free to make yourself comfortable.

it’s a national hip hop holiday…

By on March 9, 2010 in Mitzi- all day every day, moment of silence

I’m sitting here listening DJ Mr. Cee spin all of BIG’s greatest hits on Hot 97 and reminiscing on how amazing life was in the early 90s when Ready To Die first hit. The music felt so personal that no matter where you were listening-the club, your car or the crib; the air immediately began to feel almost electric. From the very first listen, I was addicted to this man’s voice and flow. I swear, I must’ve played it on repeat nonstop at least 48 hours straight. Ask Elsa, ‘ish was crazy.

In retrospect, I think his back story and music impacted so many of us so intensely b/c BIG’s undeniable success made any and everything seem possible. If this akward fat kid with a lazy eye from Brooklyn could jump on a straight upstart label like Bad Boy and turn the world out, then shit… Why couldn’t I party my ass of off, graduate at the top of my class, have the career of my dreams, make millions of dollars and pop bottles poolside w/ my boo for the remainder of my life?

I’m just saying.

Anyhoo, I am so thankful for the inspiration. You da best Big Poppa!

the new kanye…

By on March 8, 2010 in going to hell in a handbasket, i die, it's in the genes, love be a cellulite cream, pocket full of dirty tissue, tagging out

On a whole, I didn’t necessarily dislike the Oscars so much as I felt they were extremely predictable. We all knew Mo’Nique was going to receive a well deserved win and with all the backlash from his notoriously messy divorce and Svengali ways swirling, I also kinda understood it was time for James Cameron to take an L. And quite honestly, I didn’t love most of the dresses… Um, Zoe’s too big purple Can-Can dress? No thank you.


But one thing or rather person I was SO not prepared for was Elinor Burkett, the out-of-control, chubby Willy Wonka looking white woman who bumrushed the stage and pulled a straight Kanye on hapless director-producer, Roger Ross-Williams. No sir, that one COMPLETELY caught me off guard.

Just as the poor guy was about to start speaking, out of nowhere this busty red-head snatched the mic and began to talk over him. LOUDLY. And unlike Kanye, this bish didn’t even give the mc back, Nope, she keep it going till the traveling music started to play.

*crickets*

It’s being reported that Burkett was one of the original producers of the winner of the Best Doc Short Award, “Music by Prudence,” follows Prudence, a disabled woman in Zimbabwe with an incredible singing voice. And that Williams and she had some sort of fall out over the direction of the film and was removed. A year ago.

*Dead Fish Eyes*

All I’m saying is, all’s fair is entertainment and humiliation. And if the entire world can hold a grudge against Kanye and stay crying a river for poor Taylor Swift, then there better be some tears shed for ‘ole dude. READ: Either Rog is now entitled to have his own best year EVER with folks just GIVING him project money and film awards whether he actually has a anything work producing (just like they GAVE Taylor Swift’s semi-talented ass all those Grammys) or I don’t wanna see this chick at another Oscar ceremony for at least the next 5 years. The End.

PS. Peep how in the very beginning Mama Williams blocked Burkett from getting out of the aisle and following behind her son. HEE-Larious!

moregasm giveaway…

By on March 5, 2010 in we love the free

Yippie! They’ve finally released the highly-anticipated iPad pre-order and availability dates (March 12 and April 3rd respectively). So can’t wait! In the meantime, thought I’d hook up one of my loyal readers with something else to keep your mind um, occupied…So the winner of the next Moment Giveaway will receive:


A copy of MOREGASM: Babeland’s Guide To Mind-Blowing Sex.

This fun-filled book features fully illustrated and easy-to-read chapters on your body (guys and girls), the big O, masturbation techniques, toys, the art of hand jobs, positions, resources and countless ways to make your sex life more of a turn on for you and your partner.

Okay seriously, who doesn’t want that???

And in the spirit full disclosure, I’ve really, really really enjoyed the review copy I received. *drops the mic and walks away with head held high & a very satisfied smile*

Here’s how you can win:

MANDATORY:

• Leave me one comment telling me the single sexiest part of your body.

• Be/Become a Mitzi Moments subscriber (If you are already, this requirement doesn’t apply to you. If not you MUST verify your email subscription to qualify).

FOR EXTRA ENTRIES (please leave separate comments for each):

• TWEET “I just entered the @MitziMoments MOREGASM giveaway for a free guide to mind-blowing sex. http://tinyurl.com/yana8fq“

• BECOME a Mitzi Moments Member through Google follower OR add the Mitzi Moments to your RSS feed (leave additional and separate comments letting me know you’ve done so).

• FOLLOW @mitzimoments on Twitter (leave me a comment letting me know you’ve done so).

• BLOG about this giveaway. (leave me a comment with the link to your post)

• JOIN the official Mitzi Miller Author/ Journalist/ Opinionated Personality Facebook Fan Page HERE (leave a comment on the FB page letting me know you’ve done so).

THIS CONTEST ENDS AT 11:59 P.M. on THURSDAY, MARCH 18, 2010. THE WINNER WILL BE ANNOUNCED ON FRIDAY,MARCH 19, 2010. It is only open to residents in the continental U.S.

now thats sex-sy…

By on March 4, 2010 in Mitzi- all day every day, using our powers for good, work it white girl

Normally when I turn to the Style Network it’s a lazy Saturday on the couch. As I lay around, flipping the channel, I’ll sometimes wind-up watching one of their many kitchy reality shows like- How Do I Look?, Whose Wedding Is It Anyway? or if I’m in the mood for a whole lot of bobblehead-type action, Giuliani & Bill. That’s about it. But the other night, I happened to tune into their original series, Ruby. You know the one about 500+lb woman, Ruby Gettinger’s ongoing struggle to lose weight? And all I can say is O-M-G.

This might be one of the best reality shows EVER. I don’t know if it’s her heavy Southern accent or her extra girly/ prudish ways (which seem so hilarious on a this grown ass now 350lb woman) but I am in LOVE with Ruby.

When she talks about wearing dresses to hide her weight (um, who hasn’t done that?) or being embarrassed to have her ex-boyfriend Denny who is like a personal trainer or some such nonsense see her wearing a bathing suit, I promise you my heart aches. And then, in the very next breath she’s being hilarious and making fun of herself and having a better time than most folks I know… Sigh. It’s fantastic.

not really that funny…

By on March 3, 2010 in keep hope alive, love be a cellulite cream, pocket full of dirty tissue, tagging out

Another day, another new tidbit about one of our fave celebs- so Mo’Nique and her husband (who I must admit is rather charming looking) have an open relationship, huh? Interesting.


And according to the NY Daily News, apparently I’m tardy to the party on this bit of Hollyweird info.

Honestly, it’s not for me to judge. If you’re cool with your husband sleeping with other women and he’s cool with you having sex with other men, so be it. I don’t have to crazwl into that bed with either of the two of you at the end of the night. Whatever keeps peace in the home. But is it just me or is something a little off/ sad when one spouse is so adamant about being faithful within the union as she/he shrugs’ off the other’s dalliances? Mmm-hmmm…

Check it out the quote that made me pause:
“Let me say this: I have not had sex outside my marriage with Sidney,” the Academy Award nominee says in this year’s 29th Barbara Walters Oscar special. “Could Sid have sex outside of his marriage with me? Yes. That’s not a deal-breaker.”
Really Mo?

*serious side-eye*

Sigh… It just seems like there was a better way to word that, no? Like maybe she could’ve said, ‘I’ve been so busy with my new film projects and TV show that haven’t had the time to have sex outside my marriage’… or SOMETHING. Anything that would’ve stopped it from seeming like while you have no interest in sleeping with other men besides your husband, he’s allowed to do whatever in the hell he feels like (because you’d rather turn a blind eye than break-up). You feel me? Or am I just reading into this too much?

is that a headlock or a hug…

By on March 2, 2010 in Mitzi- all day every day, why we as a people can't get ahead

Okay so I just saw this picture on Bossip. And not for nothing, I literally did a double take. WTF? ‘Cause maybe it’s just my shakey bakey memory, but didn’t these two women each have a child within weeks of one another by the same yuck mouth rapper less than a year ago?


I guess I have more work to do on my personal growth index but I’m not so sure I could be all hugged up with the next chick this damn soon. Uh-uh, no ma’am. Granted, I’m not saying that I would need to go all Kim Porter with it and hate on all the baby mamas but this pic right here makes ME uncomfortable.

What say you?
Or are you too distracted by Nivea’s extra smedium vest and whatever that fake fur, Snuggie-looking dress that Lauren is wearing to even think about it? It’s okay, you can tell me.

snaps for the kid…

By on March 1, 2010 in Mitzi- all day every day

On a lighter and extremely exciting note-


My co-author Denene and I were selected to be included amongst The Brown Bookshelf’s Twenty-Eight Days Later- A Black History Month Celebration of Children’s Literature 2010 Spotlight Authors & Illustrators.

For those who are unfamiliar, The Brown Bookshelf is one of the premiere websites for finding Picture Books, Middle Grade and Young Adult Literature written, illustrated or that contain a majority of African-Americans characters. And the 28 Days Later initiative is an annual month-long showcase celebrating of their picks for the very best. READ: this is a big damn deal!

Feel free to check out Denene and I discussing the state of Black YA lit, our writing process and most importantly what we learned along the way HERE as I whop it out around my apartment to THIS.

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