Mitzi

come and get dlux…

By Mitzi on September 9, 2010 in we love the free

On a much lighter note… Thanks to the wonder that is random.org, I’m pleased to announce the three lucky winners of a yummy signature DLUX t-shirt! Drumroll please…

And the lovely ladies are:

ANGELA K.

CARYN REED-HENDON

SAMMENE@aol.com

WOO HOO!!!! Congrats on your new t-shirt ladies!

To claim your prize, please send an email with all of your mailing info to: mitzimoments@gmail.com.

its not politics, it’s personal…

By Mitzi on September 9, 2010 in Uncategorized

Okay. This rogue Floridian pastor threatening to burn at least 200 books of the Quran is making me sad, scared & physically ill. Seriously.

Since the story broke weeks ago, I’ve been trying to pretend like this is one of those low-budget jokes that I’ll never understand. But then I saw today’s post on Reuters. And it hit me. The entire WORLD is watching & waiting to see what this lunatic is going to do on September 11th. In the name of God and freedom of speech.

And I can’t.

See, it’s not that I have a problem with his version of God or the idea of the freedom of speech. Shoot, I’m 110% for the protection of freedom of SPEECH. SAY what you want all the live long day.

Howsomever, when it comes to BURNING the holy books of ANY religious faith? Nope. I will not get behind that EVER. Not the Quran, not the Bible, not a Torah, NOTHING. Everyone’s faith deserves EQUAL respect. Period.

And on the most basic, selfish level- I, Mitzi Miller do not want to live through another terrorist attack. Especially one that is preventable.

I’m willing to bet $100, neither Pastor Jones nor his foolish followers were here or anywhere near NY when the towers fell. So of course it’s easy for him to shrug his shoulders and keep it moving when anyone with commonsense can tell you that such behavior will put all Americans at grave risk.

But I was.

And the thought of him blatantly PROVOKING the jihadists that were responsible for that nightmare, is simply incomprehensible. Um hello, these are the same take-it-the-limit extremists that have publicly hired bounty killers to murder folks for drawing cartoons of Muhammad! So yeah, what do you think is gonna happen when that racist lights the match??

BLANK STARE

Now, I understand that there’s really nothing legally that anyone can do to stop this situation. But believe this: Your freedom ends where mine behinds.

So if it goes down, and he does destroy those blessed texts, I PRAY that the press publicizes a LIST of every single, solitary, f’cking FOOL that has sent that mad man monetary donations or an actual Quran. Because I’mma need the suicide bombers and assassins to go kill THEM.

Not me.

whats a bite between friends…

By Mitzi on September 8, 2010 in desperate cry for help, it takes a village, it's not a game out there, made for the maury show, pocket full of dirty tissue, supermarket dreams on a bodega budget

Lord have mercy, ya’ll voyeuristic animal lovers are gonna learn to leave these wild animals alone I tell you.

First the tiger in the little Miami wildlife park and now, the lion at the MGM resort in Vegas done attacked and bit one of its trainers in the leg. And again, the whole thing is caught on camera by nosey onlookers

Experts talking about the trainer seemed to stiffen up when the lion looked at him. And in the wild, that’s a sign of aggression. So like a teenager, was simply trying to show his dominance.

BLANK STARE.

Um, I assume that this man is a trained profession, correct? (Hence why he was getting in the glass container with these cats to begin with.) So why wouldn’t he know not to “stiffen up” if that’s all it was? Uh-uh, sorry bruh. I don’t believe you. I think this lion-just like that tiger that jumped the 14-foot fence- was just tired of the shenanigans. The End.

Although quite honestly, my favorite part is the lioness jumping on the back of the lion like, “CHILL negro! You know how fickle these damn humans are. One minute you’re their main attraction and the next, they’re euthanizing that ass!!”‘

ROFL ROFL Yes, I’m an idiot….

But so are the folks that think it’s cute to keep a grown lion and lioness in a oversized fishbowl for tourists to ogle. So there.

who you with…

By Mitzi on September 8, 2010 in Uncategorized

See, here’s the thing about the whole “for better or for worse,” aspect of the wedding vow. Folks are quick to say it cause it sounds good, but have they really considered what it MEANS??

And I’m not hating on marriage. I’m just raise the point, that one never knows what’s going to happen around the next corner. And take it from me, when shit hits the fan, everybody ain’t built to stand the rain. As hurtfuls as it might be in at that moment, I’d much rather my partner ‘fess up that he doesn’t what it takes to be with me.As opposed to him faking the funk, sticking around, being resentful and make my situation even crazier.

*shrug*

Think I’m tripping? Well allow me to introduce EXHIBIT A:

Darrell White of Cincinnati, Ohio.

Yo. Why did this mean ass, 65 year-old man allow his poor bedridden wife to be eaten TO DEATH by maggots??

*nosedives into the shallow end of the pool*

Apparently, his 46 year-old wife Jorene suffered from a crippling case of arthritis. And ultimately, found herself completely confined to the bed. And somewhere along the line, the role of primary caretaker must’ve become too much and this psychopath just stopped taking care of her.

Now mind you, when I saw stop taking care of her; homegirl didn’t starve to death. Nope. (Although quietly, that might have been 100 times more humane than being slowly eaten alive). Dude simply quit taking her to the doctor, turning her over, moving her legs/arms or even worse cleaning up her poo. PAUSE. So needless to say, when the authorities came to recover her corpse, she was COVERED with flies, maggots and bed sores.

*insert extended horror movie scream*

So you tell me: what part of the happily-ever-after game is this madness??

DEAD FISH EYES

Exaaaactly.

That poor woman would’ve had a better chance in poorly funded, state-run facility with unlicensed health care practitioners than with the very man that swore to love and protect her till the end of days. SMH.

Just wrong.

at least antoine is getting paid…

By Mitzi on September 7, 2010 in end of days, pocket full of dirty tissue, supermarket dreams on a bodega budget, tapped out, the internet is the devil

Well lookey here- The ‘Bed Intruder Song’ (the tomfoolery based on Antoine Dobson’s hood ass interview after his sister was attacked in her bedroom that was cobbled together by a quartet of white musicians from Brooklyn) just hit the Billboard Hot 100 chart. Mind you, the track has sold more than 91,000 copies on iTunes and was at no. 39 on the iTunes chart last week.

Yo. Not to be funny but did Usher’s new single featuring Jay-Z even sell that much?

And wait on it… When asked by the NYT the reason for the viral video’s crossover success, one of the creators explained, “The bar is getting lower for creative artists to break into the mainstream.”

Mmm-hmm, just. like. that.

*makes the sign of the cross and pours out a lil’ licca for the careers of Ciara, Maya, Ameriee, Mario, Lloyd, & all the rest of the 1-name wonder wannbes.*

thank me when the temp drops…

By Mitzi on September 1, 2010 in we love the free

Ladies, really quick- think about your very favorite t-shirt.

You know the one that’s super soft, got the sexy v-neck that’s deep enough to be interesting and still cover your bra, looks lightweight but always keeps you warm and most importantly, clings in all the right places yet doesn’t make your boobs look like victims of some type of torturous bondage?

Mmm-hmm, that one.

Well thanks to the fab DLux boutique- three of readers will be gifted another one FOR FREE.

(BONUS: its in that fabulous shade of dark grey that you can never find when you’re looking)

Here’s what you’ve got to do:

*MANDATORY*

• Leave me one comment telling me which is your favorite item on the DLux website and where you’d rock it.

• If you’re not already, become a Mitzi Moments subscriber (you MUST verify your email subscription to qualify).

And for even MORE opportunities:

*EXTRA ENTRIES* (please be sure to post a separate comment for each one you complete)

• TWEET ” I just entered the @MitziMoments ‘Doing DLuxe’ giveaway for a free signature DLux t-shirt. http://tinyurl.com/37u62pd “

• BECOME a Mitzi Moments Member through the Google follower link on site.

• FOLLOW @mitzimoments on Twitter & send me a message letting me know you’ve done so.

• FOLLOW @DluxNj on Twitter & send me a message letting me know you’ve done so.

• VISIT the flagship store & tell Dorian you heard about it on MitziMoments

• JOIN the official Mitzi Miller Author/ Journalist/ Opinionated Personality Facebook Fan Page HERE (leave a comment on the FB page letting me know you’ve done so).

THIS CONTEST ENDS AT 11:59 P.M. on WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 2010. THE WINNER WILL BE ANNOUNCED ON WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 8, 2010. It is open to residents in the continental U.S. and Canada.

it’s the little things…

By Mitzi on September 1, 2010 in end of days, it takes a village, it's not a game out there, using our powers for good

Praise God!

Just when it seemed like we were living in a world full of psychopaths who

toss newborn puppies into a river for kicks and deranged sickos who drive heated nails and metal particles in to the legs and head of their own maid because she complained about being overworked, Cee-Lo saves the day by releasing the official video to his single, F*ck You! And, it is absolutely perfect.

*happy sigh*

Enjoy!

it wouldn’t have been me…

By Mitzi on August 31, 2010 in it's not a game out there, Mitzi- all day every day, why we as a people can't get ahead

Okay this is random as hell but my scanner hates me. I’ve been sitting here for the past hour trying to scan 3 raggedy ass articles that I wrote a THOUSAND years ago into a PDF file and it refuses to co-operate. I swear I’m about to jump out my freaking window… Woosah.

Now that i’ve gotten that off my chest, did you guys hear about Mahesh the tiger that jumped a 14-ft fence at a public wildlife preserve in South Florida called Jungle Island?

Mm-hmm, apparently, the craziness all started when one of the monkeys managed to escape from it’s own cage. After swinging around the food court area, the smart ass primate decided to go and harass the tiger. Well, I guess Mahesh wasn’t in the mood for the bullshit. And with a single running leap, the 700-lb cat cleared the fence (which is actually 2 feet higher than regulation height) and landed in the park with the totally unprepared patrons. But wait on it, the official spokesperson for the preserve had the never to tell news reporters that, “I know it’s hard to believe, but the folks in the park really weren’t in any danger. Cause the tiger is “used to people.” Really?

BLANK STARE.

Oh but my favorite part? The folks in the video that hung around long enough to see the tiger wander around, brush up against a pregnant woman and come within 10-feet of them. Yo. Who waits for all that to happen? At the very WHISPER of a wild animal escaping it’s cage, I’m BOUNCING. Like, the Road Runner- I’m gone. Trust, I don’t give a damn what a tiger looks like up close. At. All.

Good luck.

baby powder on aisle 9…

By Mitzi on August 30, 2010 in Mitzi- all day every day, supermarket dreams on a bodega budget

Sooo, did anyone actually watch the Emmy Awards last night?

*crickets*

Yeah me neither. Oddly, I’ve been on a self-imposed TV timeout for the past couple of weeks. Honestly, not sure what I’m going through… but oh wells. Perhaps, I’ll get back at it when the new fall season line-up rolls out. Or not.

Needless to say, not watching the actual telecast certainly didn’t prohibit me from eyeballing all the red carpet arrival pictures. And I gotta say, the fashion this year? Um, BORING. Like, I don’t know about you guys but I’m so over the one-shoulder, draped, layered, gauzy, bedazzled Grecian column dress I could vomit. Seriously. Can we please leave that look in 2009 and move on? Please and thanks.

Oh and while I can totally understand going the extra mile to avoid getting caught out on the carpet with ashy skin; there’s a definitive line between properly moisturized and plain ‘ole greasy. And err-um Rutina Wesley? Sweetie, you my dear missed the mark. Completely.

Now, don’t get me wrong- it is always exciting to see a new, beautiful, brown-skin actress working any red carpet that does NOT lead into the 100-millionth Rick Ross album premiere party. Howsomever…

There was absolutely no reason for homegirl to look like she straight jumped out of a vat of Vaseline and into her designer gown. (Which was actually kinda cute- when you tilt your head and squint your eyes a little something). Nope, none at all. And whomever the hell thought it was good idea to slather her from head to toe in grandma’s petroleum jelly and then send her out into the sun to sizzle like a damn pork rind needs to be bitch slapped.

The End.

friends don’t let friends miss out on good music…

By Mitzi on August 27, 2010 in Mitzi- all day every day, why we as a people can't get ahead

I swear, I must have no friends. No, not a single one.

Otherwise, how could I have I NOT heard about Cee-Lo’s amazing new summer single, F*UCK YOU until this morning? What’s is it, the last freaking Friday of the season? Now mind you, I only discovered it by unintentionally clicking on some random side link on a colleague’s blog roll. SMDH. Makes no sense… Ya’ll bishes don’t care about me.

*looks directly at all my home girls and sucks the back of teeth*

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