While I’ve certainly heard that enjoying a glass of wine ONE day a week during a pregnancy is very safe and in fact, may even be beneficial. But this chick, Beth is tossing back a glass, FOUR OR FIVE days a week.
BLANK STARE
But considering, I don’t normally toss back that many glasses and I haven’t been pregnant a day in my life, doesn’t that seem a tad shakey bakey?
All I can say is, sure hope their health insurance carriers aren’t watching. Because new health laws in effect or not, it might be hard to convince folks to cover the long term care necessary for a baby born with defects after seeing this right here.
So yeah, not sure about you but personally I’m not really trying to go see The Social Network in theaters. Not saying it’s not interesting enough to add it to the queue when it hits Netflix but as for shelling out my hard earned $12.50 to see a movie that’s just prob to make me feel like I haven’t done ‘ish with my entire life- err-um, no thank you.
Howsomever, I do think that it’s pretty fantastic that Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg is donating $100 million dollars to the Newark public school system. Yep, pretty fantastic and right on time. Cause I for damn sure needed something EXTRA SPECTACULAR to help my mind recover from the leaked cellphone pics of Eddie Long posing in his bathroom like Demi Moore wearing head-to-toe shiny black spandex and a Kangol.
BLANK STARE.
The Lord be coming through all day every day, I tell ya.
They say, a single look is worth more than a thousand words.
Mm-hmm… So, I’m thinking Sasha’s Obama’s laser beam side-eye at the paparazzi as the First Family walked back to the White House from church after this past Sunday morning service pretty much sums up how I’m feeling about greasy ass Pastor Eddie Long.
Cause here’s the thing: How are you going to be “one of the most virulently homophobic black leaders in the religiously based anti-gay movement” and then get caught up in some ish like coercing young male Church members to masturbate you??
HUH, Eddie??
For those who are unfamiliar, Eddie Long is the same ignorant fool who actively campaigned (and essentially convinced THOUSANDS of the poor Southern people that are members of his megachurch to vote) for George W. Bush’s re-election in 2004. Why he do that, you ask? Because according to this psychopath, John Kerry’s willingness to even CONSIDER giving gays the right to get married was more detrimental to the future of our country than the PROVEN facts that George Bush blatantly lied about the war, was robbing citizens of basic rights and sending our economy into the shitter.
I can’t.
But back to those old adages… Where there’s smoke, there’s fire. And I for one cannot WAIT to see this hateful S.O.B burn.
On an upnote, shout out to my fabulous homegirl Jakissa, a.k.a. DJ Kiss.
The talented and more importantly kind-hearted New Orleans beauty who I’ve had the pleasure of being friends with she arrived to New York so many years ago (and happens to rock some of the hottest celeb parties around the freaking world) was included amongst Iman and Alexis Biedel in US Weekly’s 2010 List of the 25 Most Stylish New Yorkers!
So Bethany Storro, the woman in Vancouver, Washington who’s heart-wrenching story about having battery acid splashed on her own face by some random, crazed black woman was all over the national news this past week, finally admitted to throwing the disfiguring liquid on her own damn self.
BLANK STARE
Now folks talking about, “It’s so sad. No one understands why she did it.”
Um, how about this? I don’t CARE why she did it. At. All. That’s between her, the parents that didn’t love her enough and the therapist that clearly forgot to call in her prescription.
What I care about is how quickly she reached for the unidentified Black assailant card. Like really? Cause there’s that many Black women running around cold ass Washington state for her to choose that ethnicity for her attacker’s description? Bish, you’re exhausting. Eff you and the racist horse you rode in on.
I’m so thankful the police didn’t simply accept her story at face value and start rounding up Black women like it was the wild, wild West. Forreal.
And real talk, if the authorities don’t press charges for obstruction of justice, I for damn sure hope they throw her deranged, low self-esteem having ass in padded room until the end of days. Cause the world is crazy enough. We don’t need not another loony tune to be out and about with the rest of us.
It just so tragic how seriously this mean-spirited division of the police department takes itself. Like, it’s not our fault you couldn’t even qualify to fight REAL crime. Tell you what, instead of taking it out on every tom, dick and harry who’s car is even remotely parked near a dead fire hydrant, why don’t you go workout and study a little something? So maybe one day, you can catch a real criminal. No, too much like right? I figured.
*rolls eyes*
So check this out: according to the NY Post a NYPD traffic cop was so busy ticketing a car parked on the wrong side during alternate side of the street cleaning, that the dummy chick didn’t even notice the driver was sitting in the car- DEAD. Oh and wait on it, it’s not like the corpse was leaned back against the seat where he could’ve been mistaken for sleeping. Nope. Homeboy overdosed and died with his body straight slumped over the steering wheel. Can you imagine?
BLANK STARE
Bish, I know all you do for 8 hours is ride around in a little go-cart and bring misery to drivers. But forreal, forreal aren’t you a trained POLICE OFFICER? How you leave a ticket on the windshield and don’t even bother to make sure the car is unattended? Shouldn’t you of all people be AWARE of your surroundings at all times? How you busy telling me, if you see something say something but your oblivious ass ain’t notice a damn CORPSE??
And all fun and games aside, what if dude had been a victim of a violent crime and the perpetrator was still in the area looking for the next victim?? But no. Miss Thang was so busy trying to get back to that ice latte she probably left in the car, she completely missed the actual opportunity to PROTECT & SERVE our community.
Wow, remember when Jennifer Lopez was truly relevant? *crickets* Yeah don’t feel bad, took me a minute to think that far back too.
In retrospect, for a typical looking, auto-tune dependent, round-the way Latina from the ungentrified side of the Bronx, who knows she owes her life to the untimely death of Selena, J.Lo sure did have a good little run there. *shrug* I’m just saying.
Anyhoo, it seems J.Lo is back trying to be relevant- again. In addition to signing with Def Jam, it was just announced that she will be the new celebrity judge on American Idol (how ironic is that??), and she’s got a new album in the pipe. The first single, featuring the Dream and Rick Ross is entitled, Run The World.
BLANK STARE
All I’m going to say is that if I never, ever, ever hear Jenny sing another “Bonnie-n-Clyde, I -Gotcha-Back-Boo, Ride-or-Die Chick” Anthem again it will be too soon. Especially since we ALL know she’s the FIRST one to bounce on a negro when po-po comes knocking. Mmm-hmm, just ask Puff.
*cough*disloyal bish *cough*
But enough of what I think, feel free to strain your ears/ check it out HERE.
I had such a good weekend! I swear, it was full of so many firsts….
Attended my first Fashion Night Out (copped the crazy hot pink lipstick that will be making appearances all fall/winter long). I finally visited to Six Flags/ Great Adventures where I rode on an adult roller coaster for the first time (so damn scary, I will NEVER do that again). Oh and thanks to last night’s extra uninteresting VMA show, I actually heard my first Justin Bieber (eh, reminds me of a less talented Justin Timberlake without as much flexibility).
Nope, I can’t complain at all.
Speaking of underage performers with way too much hype, I’m curious to know what you guys think about Willow Smith’s new first single, Whip My Hair.
While I’m the first to admit that the song has a great beat/ contagious lyrics, doesn’t it concern you at all that a freaking 9 year-old is the one singing these lyrics? Like forreal, homegirl isn’t even ten and she’s already talking about having “haters”? I mean not to be funny but ain’t Willow and her brother home schooled? Who hating on her? Listen… *sucks the back of my teeth HARD* That child doesn’t even have friends, let alone haters. So, what’s next? A song about her falling in love? At NINE??? I can’t with that image.
Oh and if nothing else, lemme ask you this: While all that sass is really adorable on a music record, is it gonna be as cute when your little niece, nephew and godkids start whippin’ their hair at you?
BLANK STARE.
Right. Didn’t think so.
I’mma need Jada to try and find some age appropriate subject matter for her daughter PRONTO. Cause right now, lil Willow is steady reminding me of those nosey little kids that are always busy eavesdropping on their parents conversations when they should be playing with friends. And then, repeating back the gossip like they’re an authority. Uh-uh, too grown.
Love the Smiths as a Hollywood powerhouse but this right here is truly bordering on a parental fail.
It’s Friday, it’s Fashion Week and tonight is Fashion Night Out. SOOOO excited.
I didn’t partake in the tomfoolery last year because I was on some godforsaken deadline or the other. Not that much has changed but this year, I’m hitting the streets regardless. I wanna party and socialize fabulously while the wealthy spend money, dammit!
Speaking of fashion, about that October 2010 Gabourey Sidibe Elle cover…. PAUSE.
While I’m thrilled for Gabourey personally, you know what… Them mean ass Elle editors KNOW that they’re DEAD ASS wrong for that bargain basement lace front and polyester green grandma dress tragedy. Especially when you compare her cover to the three other covers that they’re releasing simultaneously.
Like forreal? Why is Gabby wearing a cheesy dress from David Bridal’s mother-in-law section and dime store costume jewelry when them other hoes Amanda Seyfried and Lauren Conrad are half-naked in casual clothing???? With all the access a fashion mag like Elle has, they couldn’t find a flattering wrap dress or even ONE pair of skinny jeans and a cute top ANYWHERE in the world for this young woman??
And what School of the Visual Arts dropout photographer thought it was a good idea to zoom in all the way on the plus-size actress’s double chin and left boob but then give starving ass, admitted anorexic, Meagan Fox a full body shot?
*sucks the back of my teeth* Cut the crap.
No, Gabby may not be your conventional size 0 Hollywood beauty but she’s still a pretty girl. Had that obviously, culturally ignorant Elle Fashion Director hired the proper hair, make-up and styling team AND even more importantly given the ridiculous photographer intelligent direction; Gabby could have been wonderful.
Outward appearance aside, on a more serious level you wanna know why this cover really, really irks me?
Because behind the scenes, when Gabby’s cover doesn’t sell half as much compared to the other three covers, the powers-that-be who really make the final decisions based on numbers will say, “You see. Black women on covers don’t sell issues. Plus-size or skinny (’cause they do lump them all together), it’s simply a bad business decision to put a woman of color on our covers.”
And it’ll be another umpteenth million issues before readers will see another brown-skin, non-mixed, 110% Black woman on the cover of a major mainstream magazine. The End.