Mitzi Moments » the internet is the devil

laughing all the way to lockdown…

Mitzi — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 13:39:00 +0000

Wow. I just read the story about 18 year-old Tyler Clementi who apparently committed suicide after his punk ass roommate, Dharun Ravi and Ravi’s homegirl, Molly Wei used a hidden webcam to stream the Rutger University freshman’s make-out with another dude live on the Internet. And added bonus: announced the intention to do so on his Twitter feed.

DEAD FISH EYES

Seriously? This story completely breaks my heart. How nasty and mean of an individual can you be to videotape your own roommate and then put it up on the freaking internet? As a female, knowing how often it’s done to women, why would you ever co-sign on sexually exploiting anyone like that? Why is the idea of two men making out even funny? It’s just sex. Big damn deal. SMH.

So now, this promising kid, who was apparently a very talented violinist, just jumped off the George Washington Bridge and both your dumb asses are looking at least five years in jail.

Still funny now?

Uugh. No one deserves such an undignified outing of their sexual orientation.Ever. My heart goes out to his family.

at least antoine is getting paid…

Mitzi — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 15:02:00 +0000

Well lookey here- The ‘Bed Intruder Song’ (the tomfoolery based on Antoine Dobson’s hood ass interview after his sister was attacked in her bedroom that was cobbled together by a quartet of white musicians from Brooklyn) just hit the Billboard Hot 100 chart. Mind you, the track has sold more than 91,000 copies on iTunes and was at no. 39 on the iTunes chart last week.

Yo. Not to be funny but did Usher’s new single featuring Jay-Z even sell that much?

And wait on it… When asked by the NYT the reason for the viral video’s crossover success, one of the creators explained, “The bar is getting lower for creative artists to break into the mainstream.”

Mmm-hmm, just. like. that.

*makes the sign of the cross and pours out a lil’ licca for the careers of Ciara, Maya, Ameriee, Mario, Lloyd, & all the rest of the 1-name wonder wannbes.*

lacing up my kicks…

Mitzi — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 17:32:00 +0000

There’s nothing more frustrating than trying to lose those last five pounds. But can you imagine losing 280 pounds and STILL weighing 686 lbs??

YIKES.

Apparently, this British guy (who despite the weight loss still qualifies as the world’s heaviest man), Paul Mason lost the weight to qualify for a gastric bypass. So let’s all pray, he’ll be able to lose more weight pretty quickly…. But my God. Can you just imagine all the skin hanging off of his body when the weight is finally gone?? Can you see it, just layers like that Japanese dog breed the Shar-Pei.

DONE.

Oh but wait on it… before you start to feel bad for homeboy- I just read on some random Flickr post that dude (who is a former postman) was arrested and imprisoned for stealing mail. And while he was serving his sentence he lost mad weight. But since his release, he’s been chilling at home, living off of welfare and eats MAD junk food.

DEAD.

you’re a pig…

Mitzi — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 17:08:00 +0000

Wow. It never ceases to amaze me how bitterness, frustration and overall unhappiness can corrupt someone’s moral character. Like seriously, it’s not always easy being optimistic and positive. But the alternative is so damn frightening…

Case in point- Paul Shirley.

Apparently, this man was somewhat of a star basketball player at Iowa State that got drafted into the NBA for a very brief and not so noteworthy career that maxed out at 18 games and 33 points, with three different teams. And since then, has done nothing worth talking about except the occasional ESPN gig.

TRAGIC.

Clearly this is NOT how Mr. Shirley envisioned his life. And it’s seems safe to say, Mr. Shirley is probably walking around with a whole lot of pent up aggression and resentment towards any and everyone because of his own unrealized dreams.

I’m just saying…

Because this could be the ONLY reason anyone in their right mind with an OUNCE of education (and I’m seriously questioning the validity of that Iowa State degree) or basic home training could possible believe/ concoct the ignorant ass reasons that he posted on flipcollective.com for NOT donating to the victims in Haiti. Check it out the highlights:

“I haven’t donated a cent to the Haitian relief effort. And I probably will not.

I haven’t donated to the Haitian relief effort for the same reason that I don’t give money to homeless men on the street. Based on past experiences, I don’t think the guy with the sign that reads “Need You’re Help” is going to do anything constructive with the dollar I might give him. If I use history as my guide, I don’t think the people of Haiti will do much with my money either.

After the tsunami of 2004, the citizens of the world wailed and donated and volunteered for cleanup, rarely asking the important – and, I think, obvious – question: What were all those people doing there in the first place? Just as important: If they move back to a place near the ocean that had just been destroyed by a giant wave, shouldn’t our instinct be to say, “Go ahead if you want, but you’re on your own now.”?

We did the same after Hurricane Katrina. We were quick to vilify humans who were too slow to respond to the needs of victims, forgetting that the victims had built and maintained a major city below sea level in a known target zone for hurricanes. Our response: Make the same mistake again. Rebuild a doomed city, putting aside logic as we did.

And now, faced with a similar situation, it seems likely that we will do the same.”

He then continues the rant with this imaginary letter…

“Dear Haitians –

First of all, kudos on developing the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. Your commitment to human rights, infrastructure, and birth control should be applauded.

As we prepare to assist you in this difficult time, a polite request: If it’s possible, could you not re-build your island home in the image of its predecessor? Could you not resort to the creation of flimsy shanty- and shack-towns? And could some of you maybe use a condom once in a while?

Sincerely,

The Rest of the World”

DEAD.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion but at the very least, please make sure you have all the facts. It’s painfully clear that Paul Shirley has NO idea about the histories of ANY of the places that he so flippantly disregards nor has EVER a read a single world history book in his entire provincial life.

But on a more basic level, I’m just curious… who thinks like this? What kind of heartless individual could possibly witness ANY of these tragedies born out of NATURAL disasters- the tsunami, Hurricane Katrina or the Haitian earthquake- and then blame the victims? Who is your family Paul Shirley? Where does this type of disregard for human life breed? Or tell the truth, were you raised by wild ANIMALS??

I. Can. NOT.

PS. And I’m glad ESPN fired your dumb ass for this nonsense.

curly cord and all…

Mitzi — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:10:00 +0000

Lord haf mercy, I am struggling this morning….

First of all my tummy hurts. And we all know, there’s NOTHING worse than waking up with a stomach ache when you have work to do.

But bigger than the bubble guts, why is my BlackBerry suddenly not charging??? WTF? 24 hours ago, the stoopid thing was absolutely fine and now, for no good goddamn reason, it’s not connecting with the charger. Straight dead battery…

AAARRRRGGGH, I hate all this fickle ass technology!

Seriously? The mere thought of the hours that I ‘m about to waste at the ghetto ass Sprint store on 125th Street when my ass should be trying to earn a living makes my stomach cramp up even more.

Jesus be a robin’s egg blue colored rotary phone…

not even the CL pumps can save her…

Mitzi — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 15:42:00 +0000

Here’s the thing, I’m all for fashion forwardness. I love seeing new trends emerge (so about to cop an adorable one-piece pantsuits) and disappear (baby doll dress be damned).

Even if good old fashioned commonsense/ awareness of my body shape won’t necessarily allow me to get involved (thigh high boots), more power to those constantly push the envelope.

With that said, this morning I have serious beef with Rihanna.

What the in the unholy my-stylist-had-the-night-off HELL was she doing prancing around NYC in a damn over-sized cardigan like it’s a sweater dress??

Shit is a certified wreck. Oh and PS, the random bustier tossed up under there doesn’t make it any better. At. All. Cause really, it just looks like ya girl put on the pretty drawers, the sweater and said bump wearing pants/shorts/anything to properly cover her butt.

Listen, I know the poor thing done been through some shit recently but that’s simply no reason to hit the pavement assed-out and half-naked. Uh-uh, no maam. Not today, not tomorrow, not even on a dare.

But the FORREAL, FORREAL reason that I’m mad at Rih-Rih? For every time her tall and skinny behind tries to pull something crazy like this off. There’s a confused girl with a TOTALLY Different shape following her lead… AND FAILING MISERABLY.

Exhibit A: Homegirl following right behind her in the shiny shirt, leather boots and a crazy looking cardigan vest of her own. Need I say more?

Jesus be a fill-length mirror. Light a candle ya’ll…

not part of the vow…

Mitzi — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 16:16:00 +0000

Dayum, Craiglist just can’t catch a break!!

First, Julissa Brissman that 26 year-old ‘masseuse‘ was shot in the head by a man she arranged to meet up with in a Boston hotel through the erotic services section of the site. And now, some twisted ass 25 year-old man in North Carolina was arrested for arranging- via Craigslist- to have his own wife raped at knife point in their home. WTF??

Not that either scenario is better than the other but at least the masseuse understood that every time she responded to an ad, there was the possibility of some craziness jumping off. This poor woman unknowingly went to sleep (mind you, their two kids were in the crib) and the man that was supposed to love her ’till death do them part set her up for the straight okey doke. Err-um, no thank you.

And what about the poor schlub who actually raped the victim? As much as rape role play ain’t never gonna be my type of hype, everyone is entitled to their own turn-on. HOWSOMEVER, there’s a gargantuan difference between fulfilling an extreme fantasy and actually committing the crime. This dude has to live with the fact that he RAPED someone for the rest of his life.

Jesus ring the bell…

say three hail mary’s…

Mitzi — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 15:56:00 +0000

In yet another example of how close we are to the end of days, why was a U.S. Marine Corps Recruiter arrested for pimping out a 14 year-old to potential enlistment recruits??

Alledgedly, Staff Sgt. Bryan Damone Cunningham (Um, Bryan Damone? $50 says this fool is Black. Sigh. My people, my people puh-lease STOP watching Hustle & Flow) attempted to barter the girl to a pair of 18 and 19 year-old interested recruits as an incentive to sign the dotted line. Sick Perv.

But wait on it… According to the po-po, homegirl met Cunningham online and had sex with all three men. She also told the cops Cunningham wanted her to work as a prostitute and had tried to take her to Los Angeles County against her will.

So basically, she was down to have sex with all three but just didn’t want to go to Los Angeles? Uh-uh, I can’t.

Jesus be a 7-year stint in a convent far, far away.

too much time and money…

Mitzi — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 15:02:00 +0000

Err-um, can someone please explain to me WHY a bra for men has become the hottest selling men’s underwear item on a new Japanese lingerie e-commerce site?

No forreal, forreal. I mean, those of us who have had the pleasure of visiting Japan or shoot, even strolling around Soho on a sunny Sat will agree that young Japanese women and men tend to be a little more… How shall I put it? Um, fashion forward in their clothing combo choices than most? But this right here is taking it to the limit.

Puh-lease watch this Reuters video report. How crazy does this man sound, talking about he likes the tightness and the feel? Lord…

Jesus ring the bell, I’m tagging out.

hi, my name is Mitzi and i’m a blogger

Mitzi — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 18:00:00 +0000

So, after fighting the whole ‘writing-for-free’ movement for as long as a professional writer possibly could, I too have finally succumbed and started my own blog. Aaargh, excuse me for a second while I throw-up in my mouth. Just jokes, people; just jokes.

Anyhoo, I haven’t the slightest what I will be ranting and raving about, but fingers crossed, it’ll keep folks entertained.

Stay tuned…