Mitzi Moments » that sense of entitlement

off to a great start…

Mitzi — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 15:57:00 +0000

Okay, I’m confused.

The members of The House of Representatives are going to spend the ENTIRE morning reading the Constitution aloud?? To who? Themselves??

Err-um, not for nothing I thought all that reading in a group, story time crap ended in 5th grade. What’s next? A pop quiz to make sure everybody was paying attention?

Freaking Ridiculous.

Now please correct me if I’m wrong but, wasn’t the entire Republican/ Tea Party ‘Take Back Our Government’ movement based on reducing government waste?

Yet this scheduled reading-that is going to require HOURS of paid work time-isn’t waste?

BLANK STARE W 3 LOOOONG BLINKS.

Yo, these folks are a bunch of flip-flopping liars. Riddle me this, if it’s really about mentally rededicating themselves to the true meaning of upholding the law then why not do that shit at an UNPAID weekend retreat… at Speaker Boehner’s crib? You know, as opposed to in the Capitol Building , when I’m not only paying your salary but also paying the electricity bill to keep the f’king lights on!!

Man listen… I can’t with the crazy on my dime.

riding the white horse…

Mitzi — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 11:14:00 +0000

In some serious WTF??? news… Charlie Sheen has filed for divorce from his 3rd estranged wife, Brooke Mueller.

PAUSE.

Um, how in the ass backwards hell is Charlie Sheen filing papers on anyone??

I mean, isn’t he the same dude that just got released from the hospital for the coke-fueled freakout on a porn star/ prostitute in hotel while his ex-wife and kids were down the hall? And yet HE wants a divorce?

*faints*

White men with money KILL me. The. End.

got my eye on this…

Mitzi — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 02:19:00 +0000

Well alrighty then, here’s one way to nip that pesky meth problem in the bud. Literally.

Tired of the increasing rate of drug addicts giving birth to sick and dysfunctional children that they are incapable of caring for, Project Prevention a North Carolina based charity is now PAYING said addicts $300 not to have children.

Uh huh, you read that correctly, they’re paying female and males addicts CASH to either insert an IUD, have tubes cut or have a vasectomy. Talking about, “They prefer to PREVENT a problem for $300 rather than paying millions after it happens in cost to care for a potentially damaged child.”

Silence.

Now, in theory this sounds like a good idea. But I gotta keep it 1000, offering a crackhead $300 in exchange for your ability to procreate is not really a fair choice. Shoot, we’ve all seen those ghetto knock-out/ bum fight DVDS (or maybe that’s was just me). Addicts will do soso much more for less when they are desperate for a fix.

Not to mention, I saw this same story recreated on Law & Order SVU years ago. At the time I thought the story was made up. Clearly I was wrong. Anyhoo, on the show, even when the addicts chose the temporary solution (the IUD) the rightwing nutjobs were straight sterilizing EVERYBODY. So what’s to stop them from doing the same thing in real life??

And more importantly, I’d be very interested to see ethnic data breakdown of the addicts that are getting paid off by these concern white women. Cause if they’re only targeting addicts of color, in some thinly veiled ethnic cleansing, I’m gonna have issues.

Real talk.

the face of self-hate…

Mitzi — Fri, 17 Sep 2010 16:30:00 +0000

Lord… PUH-lease give me the strength.

So Bethany Storro, the woman in Vancouver, Washington who’s heart-wrenching story about having battery acid splashed on her own face by some random, crazed black woman was all over the national news this past week, finally admitted to throwing the disfiguring liquid on her own damn self.

BLANK STARE

Now folks talking about, “It’s so sad. No one understands why she did it.”

Um, how about this? I don’t CARE why she did it. At. All. That’s between her, the parents that didn’t love her enough and the therapist that clearly forgot to call in her prescription.

What I care about is how quickly she reached for the unidentified Black assailant card. Like really? Cause there’s that many Black women running around cold ass Washington state for her to choose that ethnicity for her attacker’s description? Bish, you’re exhausting. Eff you and the racist horse you rode in on.

I’m so thankful the police didn’t simply accept her story at face value and start rounding up Black women like it was the wild, wild West. Forreal.

And real talk, if the authorities don’t press charges for obstruction of justice, I for damn sure hope they throw her deranged, low self-esteem having ass in padded room until the end of days. Cause the world is crazy enough. We don’t need not another loony tune to be out and about with the rest of us.

i’m buying a copy just because…

Mitzi — Fri, 10 Sep 2010 15:35:00 +0000

It’s Friday, it’s Fashion Week and tonight is Fashion Night Out. SOOOO excited.

I didn’t partake in the tomfoolery last year because I was on some godforsaken deadline or the other. Not that much has changed but this year, I’m hitting the streets regardless. I wanna party and socialize fabulously while the wealthy spend money, dammit!

Speaking of fashion, about that October 2010 Gabourey Sidibe Elle cover…. PAUSE.

While I’m thrilled for Gabourey personally, you know what… Them mean ass Elle editors KNOW that they’re DEAD ASS wrong for that bargain basement lace front and polyester green grandma dress tragedy. Especially when you compare her cover to the three other covers that they’re releasing simultaneously.

Like forreal? Why is Gabby wearing a cheesy dress from David Bridal’s mother-in-law section and dime store costume jewelry when them other hoes Amanda Seyfried and Lauren Conrad are half-naked in casual clothing???? With all the access a fashion mag like Elle has, they couldn’t find a flattering wrap dress or even ONE pair of skinny jeans and a cute top ANYWHERE in the world for this young woman??

And what School of the Visual Arts dropout photographer thought it was a good idea to zoom in all the way on the plus-size actress’s double chin and left boob but then give starving ass, admitted anorexic, Meagan Fox a full body shot?

*sucks the back of my teeth* Cut the crap.

No, Gabby may not be your conventional size 0 Hollywood beauty but she’s still a pretty girl. Had that obviously, culturally ignorant Elle Fashion Director hired the proper hair, make-up and styling team AND even more importantly given the ridiculous photographer intelligent direction; Gabby could have been wonderful.

Outward appearance aside, on a more serious level you wanna know why this cover really, really irks me?

Because behind the scenes, when Gabby’s cover doesn’t sell half as much compared to the other three covers, the powers-that-be who really make the final decisions based on numbers will say, “You see. Black women on covers don’t sell issues. Plus-size or skinny (’cause they do lump them all together), it’s simply a bad business decision to put a woman of color on our covers.”

And it’ll be another umpteenth million issues before readers will see another brown-skin, non-mixed, 110% Black woman on the cover of a major mainstream magazine. The End.

Lame.

the year of the downgrade continues…

Mitzi — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 16:05:00 +0000

And to think, I was worried that missing out on all of last week’s Oscar Grant and LeBron James craziness was going to leave me with nothing to discuss this morning.

*mails a thank you card to Terius Nash*

Sigh. Oh The Dream… Getting caught on the romantic rendezvous in the Caribbean with your slutty personal assistant? Really? Does it get more cliche than that?

I must say the images of Terius in his beachwear glory: extra snug pink-n-white striped board shorts, jiggly man-boobs and Buddha gut with the dark permanent side crease frolicking in the ocean with the equally sloppy body trick (how are you’re supposed to be the sexy sidepiece w the loosey goosey tummy & unflattering flattering 2-piece, ma?) for the all of the paparazzi to photograph sickens me to my soul.

But I guess we shouldn’t be that surprised that the Umpa Luma is this sloppy. His comments about Christina and their home life since she got pregnant have been nothing short of blatantly disrespectful. And that’s to say nothing of the ignorant first single from the crappy ass album that he released last week, “Make Up Bag.” Talking about, “If you ever make your girlfriend mad. Don’t let your good girl bad. Drop five stacks on the make up bag.”

Simple ass negro.

Granted, I’ve always thought Christina Emillian was kind of typical. You know what I mean: cute, marginally talented with some very obvious signs of gold digger tendencies when it comes to the men she chooses to date. *shrug* But still… ain’t no lifestyle worth this type of humiliation. At the end of the day, homeboy put the ring on it. Knocked-up or not, the two could’ve just co-parented if he didn’t intend to TRY to be monogamous.

Maybe LaLa and Melo were onto something by waiting five years to actually get married….

historically correct, politically dead wrong…

Mitzi — Mon, 24 May 2010 15:24:00 +0000

Damn Fergie Ferg… SMH. I know times are hard on the royal boulevard since that Weight Watchers gig ran out in 2007 but seriously, you really have to do better. Trying to extort random folks that want to meet your ex-husband to the tune of £500k? Fail. You look so crazy right now… Talking about you’re an aristocrat. Way tacky, mama.

Although, truth be told, this type of underhanded behavior is how most aristocrats historically made money- through connections and familial influence as opposed to actual work. So perhaps you almost had it right. Almost.

*kanye shrug*

the face of privilege…

Mitzi — Tue, 18 May 2010 05:13:00 +0000

In another one of those classic, who does ‘ish like this with all the access to the modern day information highway? Connecticut Attorney General Blumenthal who is currently running for a seat in the United States, has been caught BLATANTLY lying about his service in Vietnam. And not like, he was saying he was on the front lines but really he was on e of the lucky ones that made it to the rank of an officer and served his time in a remote office. Nope. Homeboy never even stepped FOOT in Vietnam… to tune of at least five deferments over the course five years.

BLANK STARE WITH THREE SLOOOOW BLINKS

Now this grown ass fool is saying that while “his intention has always been to be completely clear and accurate and straightforward, out of respect to the veterans who served in Vietnam,” he might have “misspoken” about his service during various.

Misspoken? Really? So is that what lawyers and politicians are calling lying nowadays? Hmm… duly noted.

The sad part, is I’ll bet there were a WHOLE lot of young men who fought and were injured in that war and families that lost loved ones whom probably WISH they could’ve gotten one, let alone FIVE deferments from the draft. Shaking my head.

*cough, LAME, cough*

its all about balance…

Mitzi — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 14:31:00 +0000

Basic Hometraining Rule 101: Before you say something negative, it’s important to lead with a positive.

So let’s start the day by giving Sandra Bullock a HUGE shout out. Adoption, Oscar and Divorcing lame ass Jesse James? Homegirl is taking no shorts in 2010. Sure hope Elin is taking notes. And best of all, how serious is baby Louis’s side-eye game? Like,what? Straight out the N.O grilling the paparazzi like a rock star.

I am also L-O-V-ing the fact that not only will President Obama will be delivering the eulogy at Dorothy Height’s funeral tomorrow but he also ordered the American flags at the White House and upon all public buildings and grounds, at all military posts and naval stations, and on all naval vessels of the Federal Government in the District of Columbia and throughout the United States and its Territories and all possessions to be flown at half-staff on the day as well, “as a mark of respect for the memory.”

Take that, Take that.

Yes, I’m really glad that I had such encouraging and happy news to help balance out the craziness that is jumping off in mid-west right now: As if Arizona wasn’t enough, apparently despite two vetoes by the State’s governor, the Oklahoma Legislature has voted two new and even more restrictive abortion measures into law. One of which requires women to undergo an ultrasound and listen to a detailed description of the fetus before getting and abortion AND the other prevents women who have had a disabled baby from suing a doctor for withholding information about birth defects while the child was in the womb.

DEAD SILENCE

But wait on it, the new laws are way detailed. Like the first law, requires that the doctor or technician set up the monitor so that woman can see it and describe the heart, limbs and organs of the fetus. No exceptions are made for rape and incest victims. Okay real talk, how sick is that for someone to have to sit through the description of a fetus? Although, I’m not really sure what the hell they’re going to be describing since its just a mass of tissue and nerve stems for the first six weeks (which is when most women schedule the procedure). So perhaps they’ll just be making it up as they go along… You know kinda like the Teabagggers and the Birthers.

Seriously? All fun and jokes aside, what country are we living in right now? Is this a freaking extremist Muslim country where women’s reproductive rights are up for debate amongst a bunch of MEN?? I’m so confused.

So when there is a sudden rise in the number of abused and abandoned babies on Oklahoma, what then? Are these same lawmakers going to sign up to start taking them in? Cause clearly the whole overseas adoption movement is going to hell in a handbasket. Exhibit A: the couple in Virginia Beach who are now suing the nation’s largest adoption agency for sending them another little blond-haired psycho from Russia. Mm-hmm…

Apparently, lil Roman started out as a vision of normalcy. But over the course of six years, he has threatened his the couple’s 5-year old biological daughter with a steak knife and a two-by-four as well as held her underwater in a pool. Oh and did I mention the multiple therapeutic programs that have ejected the future serial killer for kicking, biting, hitting and most recently, on his 8th birthday, pulling out three of his teeth using a pen cap, fork or spoon?

*crickets*

Oh and NOW that the lawsuits are flying, the caseworker finally acknowledges that when she had said the doctor visited orphanages to “see the children” and review pictures, videos and medical information that did not necessarily mean that the doctor had actually examined. Matter of fact, in deposition, the same doctor said he had not practiced medicine for years and was a facilitator for the agency, not a medical screener. Word?

Feel free to throw up as I donate my ENTIRE life savings to Planned Parenthood.

it aint right but i understand…

Mitzi — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 13:01:00 +0000

Please don’t let the recent jump in the Dow Jones fool you. Unfortunately, hard times from this international recession seem to be far from over. And therefore, we should all continue to be on the lookout for the crazy. Cause just when you least expect it, it’s out there.

Case in point: The 65 year-old woman in Amsterdam that felt like she had been overcharged on monthly utility bill.

Apparently grandma tried to contact the utilities company to dispute the outrageous bill (which was almost $84,000 American bucks) but the electricity got cut off before she could make the call. So when the utilities worker showed up talking about he was gonna cut off all her service, don’t you know homegirl LOCKED THAT ASS UP!?!?!?

CRICKETS

Mmm-hmm, talking about, she wasn’t letting him turn off a damn thing until the company addressed the cause of the overpayment and set up some sort of payment plan. But wait on it… why the police had to come and arrest ‘ole girl before she was willing to let dude go??? I can’t.

Imagine trying to explain to your family and friends that you were trapped and locked up by a damn senior citizen. DEAD. I know that dude was pissed! Here he probably thought it was going to be an in-and-out job. At most, lasting no more than 15 min. Uh-uh, not even close… Senior Sally was on some straight Stephen King, MISERY type ‘ish. Trapping folks like wild animals!

Tell you what- I don’t care what his salary was before this, they just don’t pay enough for the crazy I tell ya. Nope, not at all.