Mitzi Moments » it ain’t easy

not mean, just observant…

Mitzi — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 14:34:00 +0000

So the headline on the article related to this god awful photo reads:

Kevin Federline Debuts Girlfriend’s Baby Bump

In light of what a filthy, tub of lard K-Fed has become, am I the only one who thinks it would’ve been damn near as accurate (and way funnier) to say:

Kevin Federline Debuts Baby Bump

*barely smothers a giggle*

I’m jussayin.

he don’t wanna win…

Mitzi — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 15:56:00 +0000

Dang, prayers up for C-Breezy this morning. That child can’t seem to get out of his way.

Apparently this morning, homeboy flew into a rage mid- Good Morning America taping after being prodded one too many times about the Rihanna incident. According to sources, he ripped off his shirt, broke a mirror and smashed a window. talking about, he’s tired of people bring up the past… and the difference between his treatment and Charlie Sheen.

Mind you, his album F.A.M.E drops today.

BLANK STARE

You know, I’m not even going to bother getting into the fact that as long as that little boy BREATHES, people are not going to tire of asking him about bashing Rihanna’s face in OR the fact that Charlie Sheen is a grown ass WHITE man who’s been in this game for longer than Chris has been alive. So no, he’ll never receive equal treatment. The End.

Instead, I’m just going to point out that across the board music critics have given this album notably favorable reviews. Which is a pretty big deal for any artist nowadays let alone one that stays on the wrong side of public opinion. Okay?

Bottom Line:

Boo, you’re 21 yrs-old. Watching you self-destruct has become exhausting. Enough of the temper tantrums, nude pics, ridiculous dye job and slew of angry tweets. You live a charmed life that MILLIONS of folks would barter their first born to enjoy. Grow up & act like you appreciate it.

Please & Thanks.

this explains the bubble guts…

Mitzi — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 15:16:00 +0000

Dammit to all hell, is no junk food sacred anymore?

Turns out the mystery “ground meat” that Taco Bell hustles by the burrito boat load doesn’t even have enough actual beef to qualify as taco meat filling (which only requires 40% fresh beef) let alone call itself real “beef.” Oh and wait on it… apparently the rest of said “meat” is a combination of chemicals and random ingredients like cocoa powder, sugar and corn starch.

*gags and looks directly at Latoya Scott- Brown*

We’ve got to do better people.

another sad broke song…

Mitzi — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 17:43:00 +0000

Uuugh… Toni Braxton is seriously considering posing for a Playboy cover to raise funds to cover the $50 million dollar debt that she’s in???

BLANK STARE

Uh Toni? Forreal?

Not to be funny but, even someone with an accounting degree from Devry can figure out the measy couple of million dollars you’d receive-IF, and I do mean IF Hef is willing to pay washed-up, 43 year-old R&B singers two million dollars to get sorta nekkid (cause she talking only T&A, not complete nudity) ain’t gonna make nary a dent in that riduculous bankruptcy situation you got going on. AGAIN.

*rolls eyes all the way back in head*

Instead of calling Hef, your ass NEEDS to be stalking Babyface and begging him to write a song for you. Shooot….

nothing to cheer about…

Mitzi — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 17:50:00 +0000

Wow, did anyone even know that a former NFL cheerleader has been missing for the past week??? Anybody? Anybody? Nobody?

*crickets*

Yeah, me neither. SMDH. Call me paranoid but, it really feels like folks have just been straight disappearing into thin air this past year.

*shudders*

And although her alledgdly abusive ex-boyfriend was the last known person to see her alive (of course), what makes this case super duper messy is that apparently homegirl was no angel herself.

PAUSE.

Uh huh, apparently, Miss Congeniality was seriously in debt to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars. And wait on it… had not one but FOUR restraining orders taken out against her by different people as well- three different dudes and a chick.

BLANK STARE.

Err-um, yeah that’s a lot.

So tell you what, I’m just gonna say a little prayer that Debbie returns home safely from wherever or whatever she’s caught up in. And hopefully, the new year brings her much ore peace and happiness than 2010.

take that, take that…

Mitzi — Thu, 09 Dec 2010 15:22:00 +0000

The first time I watched this video of Puff running through the freezing cold streets of New York City promoting his new album like a bootlegger in the barbershop, I didn’t understand why he was putting himself through it. The man is like a thousand years old, wearing an old school varsity jacket, talking “take back the streets.” From who? How? Man listen. Sean, go sit your behind down somewhere and manage Nikki Minaj. We all know, Last Train to Paris is never going to be chart topper. Might as well, let go, let God and start working on the next season of Making The Band.

BUT THEN, I heard about SouljaBoy’s album only selling 13,000 copies TOTAL in the first week out. Woah.

There’s an average selling album and then here’s a TOTAL BELLY FLOP. SouljaBoy selling less copies than the number of people that live within the 5-block radius my neighborhood is a TOTAL. BELLY. FLOP.

Jesus.

13,000 copies?? A number like that makes you question whether his own family bothered to buy the album. I’m just saying.

*kanye shrug*

And you know what, Diddy I get it. You better be on the sidewalk running down white folks and making them promise to pre-order copies of your album. Matter of fact, if I was you, I go find those shiny suits you and Mase used to rock and get to dancing.

And the magic number is: 13,001.

Let’s Go!!!

happy to hear about the sushi & coffee….

Mitzi — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 02:52:00 +0000

Hmm, this is a new one…

While I’ve certainly heard that enjoying a glass of wine ONE day a week during a pregnancy is very safe and in fact, may even be beneficial. But this chick, Beth is tossing back a glass, FOUR OR FIVE days a week.

BLANK STARE

But considering, I don’t normally toss back that many glasses and I haven’t been pregnant a day in my life, doesn’t that seem a tad shakey bakey?

All I can say is, sure hope their health insurance carriers aren’t watching. Because new health laws in effect or not, it might be hard to convince folks to cover the long term care necessary for a baby born with defects after seeing this right here.

bet she don’t want the rum punch…

Mitzi — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 14:52:00 +0000

So I just read that the REAL reason Jermaine Dupri and Janet finally fell out is because he cheated on her with a stripper. And wait on it… knocked homegirl up. PAUSE. Umm, people still impregnate strippers in 2010? WOWOWOW.

If this is true, not only is that midget unattractive but he’s extra stoopid. The End.

But speaking of extra stoopid, remember his trusty sidekick Da Brat?? You know the crazy chick with all the braids that served time for slapping a cocktail waitress across the back of her head with a rum bottle? Yeah, that one. I hear she’s outta prison. Wonder what that’s looking like….

*gags*

Although, I gotta say- For a stone cold lesbian she sure had some of the dopest lookin’ dudes in this video right here…. Mmm-hmm.

let this be a swift lesson…

Mitzi — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 18:07:00 +0000

So from what I understand the senseless event in this video occured because homie was “trying to make a funny video for YouTube.” Um, make a funny video for Youtube? Like that’s an occupation now? SMDH. I can’t.

Ya’ll fools gonna learn to stop cooning for the camera…

why i hate pretty ricky…

Mitzi — Fri, 21 May 2010 13:04:00 +0000

Awww, remember ABC?

Not for nothing, when ‘Iesha’ hit the radio them lil’ boys were like the hottest thing since sliced bread. Jumping around all over the place, wearin’ bedazzled overalls with no shirts on, doing one-handed push-ups, talking about how they met this cutie with a bootie at the playground. Mmm-hmm… Oh and please don’t front like we weren’t ALL trying to learn every step of their dances including Red’s backflips.

Too funny.

Every time I see these little knuckleheads on the train breakdancing for dollars, I’m reminded of the group. Sigh. I wonder where they are now… Back in Atlantic City? Fingers crossed, they saved some of that 2-hit wonder money for college. I’d sure hate to find out they were still chillin’ at the playground….

*blank stare*